Feeling a tear break free of her eye, she quickly turned away so that she could wipe it with her index finger before returning her gaze to Mr Hayman’s.
“Miss Percival, though we have only known each other a short time,” Mr Hayman said with a deep and emotion-filled sigh, “I do believe we have become quite good friends, and I feel that I know you well enough to know when something is deeply troubling you.”
Where do I begin?Matilda thought, wondering just how much she could tell the man. After all, he may have tried to take their relationship to the next level and she may have rejected the proposal but it was clear that he still cared for her and wished to be involved in her life, whether that was down to her closeness with Lady Amy she was not sure, though she sensed it was more than that.
How can I tell him about the Duke and myself? What should I say about Lady Florentia’s visit? I should tell him how homesick I am!Though the latter was the last thing on her mind, it was not untrue. She had been homesick from the very moment she arrived at the manor and it had not been squashed by everything else that had happened. In fact, it only made everything else worse.
“Oh, Mr Hayman, I feel absolutely terrible,” she said, her bottom lip trembling as she began to lose the fight against her tears. They started to stream down her face, followed by a gut-wrenching sob that caused Mr Hayman’s eyes to widen.
“Oh, Miss Percival, whatever is the matter?” he asked, his voice gentle and filled with concern even as he swept across the couch to pull her into his arms. Too overcome by emotion, feeling as though she had allowed the flood gates to open, Matilda could only cry and cry.
“There, there,” Mr Hayman said softly. He continued to hold her in his arms, rocking her gently back and forth as he comforted her. “Whatever the matter is, I am sure we can find a solution between us.”
He continued to comfort her, never once questioning her or making her feel like a child but instead sitting calmly and quietly beside her and holding her until she finally managed to regain control of herself. And it was then that Matilda finally realised she felt a little better. After having let out all of the pent up emotion and tears that had been threatening all day, she finally felt as if she could breathe.
“Mr Hayman, please forgive me,” Matilda said softly, moving slightly in his arms but not quite ready to let him release her. She moved in order to pull her handkerchief from her sleeve and deftly dabbed at her face so that he would not see how much she had sniffled. “I fear I have allowed things to get on top of me though I do feel better now.”
Though she could not see his face, Matilda got the sense that the teacher had begun to smile and it was at that very moment that the worst thing could have happened.
The sound of somebody clearing their throat so loudly it was clear they were trying to get their attention made Matilda and Mr Hayman jump up from their seats, breaking apart in utter astonishment. The look on Watson’s face as he stood in the doorway made Matilda feel sick. She had never seen him with such an expression.
“Watson,” Mr Hayman said, bowing his head in greeting, “Forgive me, I was just delivering some new books for Lady Amy.”
With a glance at the table where Amy had left the remaining books, Watson replied, “It appears you have done so.” His tone was clipped and it made Matilda’s skin crawl. She could only imagine what the Duke might think of what he had just witnessed. Clearly straining his jaw with clenched teeth, Watson added, “Heath, I think it is time that you leave.”
Yet as he spoke, it was not the teacher he was looking at, but Matilda. He glared at her with such a stern expression that she could not help but feel as though he was about to offer her some kind of instant dismissal.
As if he sensed the sheer tension in the room, Mr Hayman quickly nodded and bowed before hurrying from the room, saying over his shoulder, “I shall show myself out.”
Almost immediately after he was gone, Watson gripped hold of the door, without looking away from Matilda, and slammed it shut. Matilda felt the hard lump reforming in her throat as she gazed back at him, trying to understand what it was she saw in his eyes.
Deciding that it was likely best for her to have the first word, she cleared her throat and gazed at him hopefully as she explained, “I was upset and feeling homesick and Mr Hayman was trying to comfort me.”
“I see,” the Duke said simply, his head nodding slowly though he did not appear entirely understanding. A part of Matilda wondered whether he was angry but in all honesty, he simply looked confused and perhaps even a little overwhelmed.
“I can see now that I ought not to have let him get so close.” Matilda sighed and lowered her gaze for a moment, feeling a little foolish for ever allowing her emotions to show in front of the man. “Not under the circumstances.”
When she looked up at the Duke again, he was watching her with a raised eyebrow. He shoved his hands into his pockets and took a step forward. “What is it you mean by that?”
Matilda gulped, instantly realising she ought to have kept her mouth closed. Her cheeks felt red hot and she was absolutely sure that he could see it.
“It…it is nothing,” she responded, shaking her head quickly and glancing down at the floor, too ashamed to meet his gaze.I should not have entertained him without Lady Amy present!she thought, remembering how only a few weeks ago, Mr Hayman had practically started the ball rolling toward proposing to her.
“Matilda, you will tell me what you mean this instant,” Watson said in a firm and commanding voice that caused the governess to tremble. Never had he spoken to her in such a manner and it caused her heart to race, not entirely in a good way. Her head shot up and her eyes widened as she stared at him, unable to believe he had been quite so harsh toward her.
The stern look on his face told her that it was best not to argue and so she dropped her gaze once more before responding, “It is truly nothing. Mr Hayman confessed to having romantic feelings toward me, but I rebuffed him, and we have agreed that we are simply friends.”
Hearing the Duke’s sharp intake of breath, Matilda lifted her head and continued to speak, scared that if she did not explain properly then he might get the wrong idea. “Mr Hayman tried to court me openly, but I told him that it would not be appropriate given my position and though I did not tell him so, I could not in good conscience entertain him as we had already begun our…our relationship.”
If that is what you can call it,Matilda thought grimly, knowing that neither she nor the Duke had ever actually put a label on things.
The loud yet dull sound of the Duke slamming his hand down on the back of an armchair caused Matilda to jump and raise her eyes to look at him once more. “I cannot believe you did not tell me of this! I cannot believe that Heath went behind my back when I specifically told him to stay away from you in any romantic capacity!”
Though Matilda was not entirely sure whether he was actually speaking to her or if he was merely releasing his anger, she was still caught off guard by his words.
“What do you mean you specifically told him to stay away from me?” she blurted, feeling frustration beginning to bubble up inside her. “When did you tell him this?”
The Duke shook his head and closed his eyes, pressing his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose as if he were suddenly afflicted by a terrible headache. “It does not matter.”