Standing outside the governess’ door, Watson sucked in a deep breath and raised his hand, preparing to knock. He did not get the chance. Just as his knuckles were about to connect with the wood, the door flew open and a petite and beautiful blonde almost walked right into his fist.
Quickly, he lowered his hand at Matilda’s gasp of shock and stepped out of the way even as she instinctively dropped into a curtsey.
“Your Grace, forgive me!” she exclaimed even as she remained low in her curtsey, looking as if she were too scared to meet his gaze. “You startled me. I was not expecting you to be…”
Watson cut her off, “Matilda, please stand up. There is no need for you to curtsey.”
Yet, his stomach churned and his entire body turned to ice when he glanced over Matilda’s lowered head and saw the state of her room within. Several of the wardrobes had been left ajar and from what he could see, they were entirely empty. What was more alarming was the presence of the large travel trunk that was sat on the table at the end of her bed.
The gentle smile that he had been offering her in the hopes she would see he had calmed down from the evening before was quickly wiped from his mouth. When she rose to her feet, he was scowling deeply.
“Miss Percival, please will you accompany me to my study?” he said through gritted teeth, struggling to stop himself from demanding right there and then what was going on. He was all too aware of the laughter coming from his daughter’s room right next door and knew that she might well be able to hear them if they got into another argument. His only hope was that Miss Stuart would keep her preoccupied so that she would not come looking for Matilda.
Without waiting for her to respond, he gestured her from the room and started to walk down the hall. Holding his breath, he listened, unable to look over his shoulder in fear that she might not obey him. He was only relieved when he heard her delicate footsteps on the rug behind him though she kept her distance.
They kept the silence and it stagnated between them until they finally made it to his study and he quickly clicked the door closed behind them. Matilda kept her distance with her head bowed, moving into the room when he instructed her to but not taking to the seat that he offered her.
She cannot truly be leaving,he thought, his mind racing.Have I entirely messed this up?A million and one questions reeled around his mind until he felt like he might go mad with them. Whenever he blinked, all he could see was the trunk sitting at the bottom of the bed, mocking him.
Unable to think of where to start, he stuttered and stammered for several moments before Matilda broke the silence, “Your Grace, I was just leaving my room to come and find you. I wished to tell you that I am leaving this morning.”
Though it was just as he had suspected, hearing the words from her lips caused the Duke’s heart to ache painfully. His entire body turned cold as though somebody had stolen all of the heat from the room and his lungs burned, threatening to choke him.
“This is very sudden,” was all he could think to say. His skin crawled and his tongue ached with all the words he longed to pour from his heart and yet he could not bring himself to do so. The expressionless set of Matilda’s face was a look he had never seen upon her before and it frightened him. The last thing he wanted to do was push her even further away.
“I am aware, Your Grace, and as it is so sudden, I understand if you decline to give me a reference for any future jobs I may apply to,” Matilda said, her voice so strict and professional that he almost could not believe he was looking at the same person who had stood before him only a few days earlier.
Gritting his teeth, he responded, “Matilda, you are a fine governess, and I would not withhold a reference from you, though I must ask, why are you leaving so suddenly?”
He inhaled deeply and started to ask if it might have had something to do with the night before but she quickly broke in, “Something has come up at home and I am needed.”
The spark that flashed through her eye suggested that she was not being entirely truthful but Watson was not sure whether he should push for further information. After all, if she was telling the truth, he did not wish to upset her further.
“I do hope it is nothing too serious,” he said carefully, watching her closely as he waited for her reaction and her response. Though she met his gaze, Watson could not help but think there was little left of the Matilda that he knew behind those beautiful hazel eyes.
“Nothing that cannot be rectified, Your Grace,” she assured him and the hard set of her jaw told him that it was taking all she had to keep her calm. In fact, the closer that he looked at her, the more he came to think she looked angry, almost as angry as she had been when she stormed out of the drawing room the night before.
“You may take all of the time that you need to handle the situation,” Watson assured her, feeling a slight flicker of hope at his own words as he hoped she would accept the offer, “Your position will remain open for you to return.”
Though there was a clear glimmer in her eye, perhaps even the hint of a tear, she looked sterner than ever as she sharply responded, “I shall not return.”
Bile rose in the back of his throat and his stomach churned so violently that Watson had to hold his breath and bite the inside of his lip to stop himself from gagging. The thought of losing Matilda made him feel more sick than he had ever in his entire life, even more so than when his poor late wife had passed.
Closing his eyes, Watson decided that it was now or never. He had travelled to the governess’ room in order to apologise for the night before and to admit his true feelings to her, and yet so far, he had done neither.
“Miss Percival, if your leaving has anything to do with my behaviour yesterday, I wish for you to know that I was coming to your room this morning to apologise,” he began. Taking a step toward her, he reached out his hand, hoping that she would change her mind on keeping her distance and reach back for him. When she did not he quickly thought better of it and dropped his hand back to his side.
“I wish for us to talk about it what happened and hope that we can overcome it, together.”
There was flash of uncertainty in the governess’ eyes that gave Watson hope. It was much more than the stern and angry expression she had been offering him since they stepped into the study. Yet when she spoke, there was nothing hopeful about her tone, “Lord Worthington, there is nothing for you to apologise for and nothing for us to discuss.”
Watson’s heart sank deep into his stomach and a hole opened up in his gut the likes of which he had never felt before. Matilda met his gaze sternly even as she added, “It is I who ought to apologise for having been so unprofessional.”
“No, Matilda!” Watson burst out, stepping forward and gripping hold of her forearms so quickly that she had no option but to allow him to hold her for a moment. “I do not care that it was unprofessional. Nor do I care that this never should have occurred between us. It has and I am glad of it.”
For a few seconds, the governess continued to meet his gaze and there was hope in her eyes, the kind that suggested she longed so desperately to believe him. But then she blinked and it was gone. She quickly turned her head away, slipping out of his hands and half-turning away so that he could not try to take hold of her again.
“This never should have happened and I am sorry for it,” Matilda said. Her voice cracked as if she were holding back tears. “I shall leave and all of this shall be put right.”