Chapter One
Heidi
Today, I have returned to the scene of the crime, or rather, the scene of my worst humiliation. After making a complete fool of myself a few months ago, when I'd thrown myself at Ollie Jackson repeatedly, I let my friends convince me that coming back to Au Naturel Naturist Resort was a good idea. Face my fear, that was the mantra. Prove to the world I'd moved past my shame.
Easier said than done, as the saying went.
I was the girl who loved to have fun, who never let anyone or anything drag me down. But I did the dragging all on my own. Ollie and I had dated for, like, five minutes last year—then I dumped him so I could reconcile with my cheating ex. Later, I'd returned to Au Naturel and tried to win Ollie back, even though he'd been with Mara Severins by then. Had I really wanted Ollie? No, not really. I realized that on my last day at the resort. I hadn't wanted to admit I gave up a good man because I thought I didn't deserve him.
I stared out the window of the big, pink RV my friends and I always drove whenever we headed for the naturist resort. And yeah, naturist meant nudist. We always wore T-shirt dresses when we arrived at Au Naturel so we could whip them off the second we exited the RV.
But today, I wore cargo pants and a loose-fitting T-shirt.
My friend Shelby sat down beside me, wearing her standard concerned look—mouth tight, brows lowered, gaze targeted on the object of her cheering-up campaign.
That would be me. Heidi Mackenzie, the most upbeat member of the Kitten Brigade, had become the girl who needed cheering up. I didn't feel like I belonged in the Kitten Brigade anymore. The wonderful people at the naturist resort had given us that nickname because we were young and carefree, always ready to cut loose and have a good time. I didn't feel like doing any of that anymore.
So I ignored Shelby and kept staring out the window.
My friend poked my arm. "Time to start talking, Heidi. You've been Ms. Silent Treatment for the whole three-day trip to Oregon."
"You guys insisted I come along, so I came." I would've rather stayed home in Nebraska, doing my boring job and avoiding my parents.
Shelby poked me again. "But you've said, like, ten words since we left home. Come on, girl, this is our vacation."
I eyed her sideways. "We went to the resort a few months ago. This trip is strictly so you guys can convince me I need to get laid."
Yeah, they'd been saying that for a while now. Get back out there, get laid, get something. They weren't pushing me to have anonymous sex. They just wanted me to act like the girl I used to be. But I couldn't do that. No more silly, self-centered Heidi. I was a mature woman with a serious job, not a sorority slut.
"Heidi." Shelby almost whined my name.
I sighed. "I'm not trying to ruin you guys' vacation. But we are going back to the place where I made a total ass of myself. I'm having trouble getting excited about that."
"Sure, I understand. But things will get better."
"Uh-huh." I didn't see how that would happen anytime soon, but I wouldn't contradict her. She and the rest of our group needed to believe in happy endings. I'd stopped believing in those a long time ago.
Shelby threw her arms around me, squeezing hard. "I love you, Heidi."
"Yeah, I love you too."
My friend pulled away, giving me a sympathetic smile. Then she rejoined the rest of our group where they'd gathered at the front of the RV.
As the vehicle turned onto the gravel driveway that led to the resort, I dug a baseball cap out of my duffel bag and stuffed the hat onto my head. Sometimes I missed wearing girlie clothes, but I'd made a vow to become a mature adult. No more skimpy dresses. No more shrieking with joy at every little dumb thing. I was a grown-up now, not a goofy kid.
The closer we got to the resort, the more acid churned in my stomach.
And when we broke out of the woods into the large clearing around the resort buildings, I got so nauseous that saliva filled my mouth, a sure sign I was on the verge of vomiting. I took several slow, deep breaths until the nausea faded away.
You can do this. Breathe, girl.
I obeyed my own commands, and though I wasn't about to barf anymore, I still suffered from a creeping unease that made my skin itch.
Jane, who had driven the last leg of our journey, parked at the end of the driveway near the little house occupied by Eve and Val Silva, the owners of the resort. Eve and Val weren't the ones I dreaded seeing.
Through the RV's windshield, I spotted Ollie Jackson and his fiancée, Mara Severins.
Ugh. Why couldn't they have taken today off? Well, I'd have to see them eventually. Sure, Mara and I had become friends, kind of, and we talked on the phone and texted sometimes. But virtual friendship was nothing like the in-person kind.