“In all honesty, I was a bit shocked by the connection we had and truthfully it scared me a bit. By the time I realised what a jerk I’d been, you were gone, and I wasn’t sure how to reach you,” I said sorrowfully.
I meant every word. She had shaken me back then, but I did owe her an apology. I had for years. I could tell my apology had taken her by surprise. I could feel her whole demeanour shift and soften, not that she had been harsh toward me before. But in that moment, she seemed to shed her professional exterior and I saw the old Tinsley from school in her, carefree and gorgeous.
“Well, now that is the last thing I expected when I came running out to the lot in these heels,” she said with a laugh and looking at her feet. “But thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that after all these years. Do you mind if we take a breather on this bench over here? I underestimated how hard it is to keep up with a six foot four giant when I’m wearing stilettos.”
“Oh crap, yes,” I said, slowing down to better keep pace with Tinsley as we made our way toward the bench. “So, what did you expect?” I asked.
“No expectations, I shouldn’t have said it like that. I certainly didn’t come out here to talk about us. That was just a super tense moment back in the conference room. I’m an empath and I hate to see anyone hurting.
“Plus, since you mentioned your career outlook and the ramifications. Well, I’m a PR girl. I thought I might be able to talk you down just a bit at least in that regard and give you some next step that you can talk over with your agent,” she said.
“Next steps would be great,” I said. “I really have been looking to pivot for a while.”
“I know you have your concerns, but you have to trust me that this type of thing happens all the time. You would be shocked if I told you some of the people I’d helped turn their careers around after something like this.”
I took a long look at her. Tinsley Cole, the only girl that had ever thrown me out of whack. I thought about the night we’d spent together. How open she’d been with her feelings and emotions. She had been going through a bad break up back then and I’d wanted nothing more than to be there for her. I had never expected it to go any further but then it did, and it was incredible.
It was seared into my memory. Not just because the sex and been so amazing but because of the connection we’d shared. I had never felt true intimacy with another person like that since. I’d had lots of surface relationships but nothing serious. And as far as friendships, it was basically just Kai and Andrienne. It was almost as if I didn’t know how to be close to anyone else.
It was part of why I had been so scared to reach out to her after that. Growing up the way I did, knowing from a young age that your conception was a mistake, it did something to a kid. My parents had tried to make it work but eventually that imploded too.
Being shipped back and forth between a mom and dad that never really wanted you in the first place and then divorced because of you, well, that kind of upbringing wasn't exactly a breeding ground for emotional superiority.
Tinsley had tapped into something that night that I hadn’t even known had existed up to that point. I had been able to be vulnerable with her. I’d shared things with her that night that I’d never shared with anyone. We’d talked, laughed, kissed and then I had lost my virginity to her. Although of course, I didn’t tell her that.
Tinsley had assumed I was an experienced playboy back then and I had allowed her to live out that fantasy. The night had been perfect. It had seemed like the beginning of something real in my life for once. But then I’d gone and fucked it up by not calling.
“Tinsley, I’m worried,”. I felt my walls start to come down. I knew I could tell her the things that scared me now, just like I had been able to on that night all those years ago.
“Talk to me, Ryan. I’m a fixer, so let’s fix this,” her radiant smile saying more to me in that moment than her words. She looked at me like I’m a prize to be won and I wanted so much to prove to her that I was worthy of that level of appreciation.
I let it all out. The concerns I had about my career, how much I hated romantic comedies, how I hoped to tap into my skills a bit more and become a more dramatic actor instead of just the “hot leading man.” I left nothing unsaid, except how I felt about her.
How could I tell her those things? What kind of creep fell in love with a woman in one night only to blow her off and never call her again? And then proceeded to stay in love with her for nearly a decade despite having had zero communication with her.
“Wow, I had no idea you hated those rom-coms and action movies as much as you did. I always thought you were an incredible actor in them, in everything you’ve done. I mean I’ve watchedI Hate You, I Love Youat least a dozen times. It’s my go to movie after a super crappy date when I need a pick me up,” Tinsley confessed.
“Wait, you’ve seen all my movies? I didn't know whether to be flattered or embarrassed.”
“Maybe I’m the one that should be embarrassed. Admitting the way, I’ve followed your career I sound a bit like a stalker when I say it all out loud like that,” she giggled.
“Not at all,” And I truly did feel flattered. I thought that she would hate me, and want nothing to do with me. I never expected her to care enough to follow my career. Maybe, just maybe there was a chance for us after all.
“Ryan, I have to be honest. This is the perfect next step in your career. Yes, you’re being killed off but we can spin this, it’s what I do. We’ll make it sound like a mutual decision between you and the studio that allows you to focus on more dramatic roles that have been calling to you for some time.”
“We’ll say you haven’t had time in your schedule to pursue these special projects because of the strenuous scheduling of the Dr. Falconi franchise” she said, and instilled a confidence in me that had all but drained the moment I had heard Adam’s announcement.
“You really think it will work?” I asked, feeling hopeful.
“I know it will and I’m just the gal to help you,” she said, squeezing my hand. The intimate act caught me by surprise, but I didn’t hate it.
Feeling suddenly very vulnerable I deflected, as I had a tendency to do. Quickly changing the subject I said, “Tins, I gotta go back,I Hate You, I Love You,there are some pretty racy scenes in that movie. You know, I got to help develop those sex scenes myself?”
She blushed. “Ryan, this is definitely gonna make me sound like a stalker but why do you think I love that movie so much? I have very fond memories of some of those moves of yours. Especially the one where you pull your leading lady in close, kissing the nape of her neck. Moving your mouth slowly down her body, biting, nipping, kissing. Let’s just say I’m not just watching your movies for the comedy.”
“Oh really,” I purred, suddenly overcome and took her in my arms. “Is something like this what you had in mind?” I began kissing her slowly but deeply. She melted into my embrace with a comfort that made it feel like we had been doing this for years. I pulled her to her feet. “If I’m going to do this right, we need just a touch more privacy.”
“Wherever it is, take me there, now,” she said in a sensual whisper that had me as hard as rock.