My heart aches. I know where we’re leaving to. We’re going to the orphanage, and she will leave without me. I peer around the room once more. Why don’t I remember this place? Why is it so strange to me? Did my mother lock my memories as well as my powers? I always thought it was normal not to remember a thing before the day I arrived at the orphanage. I was young, after all.
Pain swirls in my chest, digging around like a worm. Why did she hate me so? I close my hands in fists, swallowing my tears. I need to find her. Where the fuck is she?
The scene changes with the blink of an eye, but just subtly. I’m not a kid anymore, but in my own body, wearing my new clothes. The living room is the same, but the ugly sofa has changed to a dark blue one. The TV looks much newer too. My mother sits on an easy chair, leaning back, her feet up. There’s a magazine in her left hand, a pencil on her right. Glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, she squints at the magazine, then writes something down. Crossword puzzle. She’s doing a crossword puzzle while I’m running for my life. Seems fitting.
Where is this? Where is she?
The scene changes again, moving with my thoughts, and I’m standing outside the house. It’s a two-story place with cream-colored walls and large windows. I can see Mother through one of those, sitting in her chair, doing her puzzles. The yard outside is large and well-trimmed. Flower beds wrap around the house like a porch, big sunflowers peeking from the corners. My mouth curls down. I could have been happy here. It was big enough for us. But no, she threw me away like last week’s trash.
I try curling and uncurling my hands, then move around the street, looking for an address. Once I find it, I turn back to the house and walk to the glass windows, touching a hand to the cold material.
“I’ll find you, Mother,” I promise, and then I close my eyes, and the world tilts around me.
Coming back is much weirder than going in. It’s like the bowl throws me out, and my back hits the chair with too much force. The chair tips back as I snap my eyes open, throwing my arms and legs out to keep my balance. My hands grasp the edge of the table, and I pull myself back, my heart thundering.
The shadows around us move. It might be my imagination, but I watch the shadow of the bowl against the table racing toward my fingers, then disappearing. The shadow of the table on the floor rushes to my feet before vanishing. I freeze, watching it, wondering if I’m crazy or if I’m about to fuck up once more.
Nothing happens.
I release a sigh, then meet Tina’s eyes. She has both eyebrows arched in doubt as she studies me, but no word comes from her mouth. A hand touches my hair, and I jerk to attention, snapping my head back.
“You alright?” Donatello murmurs, lowering his face to my height.
I pull air in. My chest hurts. I press a hand to it, trying to keep my heart from punching through my ribs. I meet Apollo’s worried gaze as he stands next to us, and an overwhelming sense of affection warms my limbs. These two are worried about me. It warms me to my core.
I nod. Words don’t come for a moment, my throat tight, parched.
“Did you see what you wanted?” Tina asks, leaning forward.
I nod again, turning to glimpse at Donatello. “I have what I need.” As my heartbeat slows down, overwhelming exhaustion seeps into my bones. My hands tremble. Donatello reaches out to help me to my feet.
“Good,” Tina voices, standing up. “You’ll want to take a break. These visions may take a toll out of a beginner.” Tina still studies me with a mix of curiosity and apprehension, but she lets us go without another word.
Donatello keeps a hand around my waist, and we walk back to his car. “You sure you’re alright?” he asks once I’m in his passenger seat.
I smile. “My mother is the one who sealed my powers. And I know where she is.” The smile on my face widens. “Of course I’m alright. I’m about to get answers.”
CHAPTER16
DONATELLO
We can’t stay. The second I unlock my door, we slide into the apartment, and conviction fills my chest. We can’t stay here for long. Coming to Hiram was necessary, so Cassandra could rest and we could regather. There was Tina, who gave Cassandra what she needed, yes, but we’ve been here for too long.
I’ve been avoidinghismessages for too long, and I know he’ll eventually come after me. Plus, Apollo’s boss knows he’s underground, so it’s a matter of time before we’re forced to run. I’d rather escape on my terms.
Cassandra ambles into the living room, and I can feel the exhaustion coming off her. This isn’t good. I wanted to leave as soon as possible, but she might need to rest. I’ve heard of mages being exhausted the first times they use their powers, and she wouldn’t have this problem right now if her powers hadn’t been blocked.
That saddens me the most. She could have developed like a normal mage. Gone to school, learned to control her skills, whatever they are. Cassandra could have been a happy individual by now, but someone kept this from her. Someone thought her happiness wasn’t important. It’s worse to know it was her own mother who decided it. I don’t know the entire story, but what I do pisses me off. Cassandra’s smart, curious, and so incredibly brave, and I want to see her happy, whatever happiness means to her.
The door shuts behind me, and Cassandra and Apollo make their way into the kitchen. Cassandra goes straight to the island and picks up a cupcake, biting into it with a soft groan that shouldn’t make me hard, but does. Apollo leans against the island and narrows his eyes at the clock in the wall, clucking his tongue.
“What’s wrong?” Cassandra asks with her mouth full of cake. I end the distance between us, flickering crumbs from the corner of her mouth. She smiles at me in gratitude.
“Can you believe it’s almost six? We spent the entire afternoon there,” Apollo says, irritation obvious in his voice. “And I wanted to leave when there was light out. Now we’ll have to wait for the morning.”
Cassandra swallows the cake. “What are you talking about? We were at the mage for ten minutes, tops.”
I shoot her an amused glance. “No. We were there for hours. It may have felt like nothing to you because you were inside the spell.”