He nods, “Yeah, I know that.”
“But I did, anyway.”
“Yeah. You did. It’s a never-ending raw ache. It won’t go away. I’m still trying to figure out how to live without you.”
Five
LIAM
She reachesup and puts her warm hand on the side of my face. I close my eyes as I try to memorize her touch in case, I never feel her hands on me again. Somehow, I forgot how good she feels. Her warmth, her love, penetrates through to my soul.
“Liam,” she whispers.
“I should go,” I say, knowing that if I stay near her, I won’t be able to control myself. She asked me to leave her alone. I don’t know what she wants now. But I can’t push her.
As her hand leaves my face, my skin is cold, feeling the loss of her touch, “Let me know what you want to do about Ivy.”
I start to walk away and turn back to her, “Mercy, I love you, I will always love you. But I’m leaving you alone as you requested. Until you take back what you said I will honor that. I want you to be happy, even if that’s without me. No pressure. There won’t be anybody else, I won’t move on. The ball is in your court.”
Tears run down her cheeks, I reach up and wipe away the wetness with my thumb, “Fuck, I miss you,” I breathe and let out a heavy sigh, “Goodbye, Mercy.”
I turn and head out of the hospital to meet Elle in my car.
Fuck! Why is it so hard to walk away from this woman? Without her, I’ll be okay, never great, never whole, but I’ll be okay.
I get into my vehicle, and Elle stares at me, “Are you okay?”
“No, but I will be. It’s just hard seeing her. I had to sit on my fucking hands to prevent myself from touching her. I miss her. It hurts so fucking bad. But you know me, I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sorry, Liam.”
I nod as I drive away.
It hurts almost as bad as the night it happened. How did I let myself fall so deeply in love with her? I knew better. I run a hand through my hair as I drive onto the freeway.
“I didn’t want to like her,” Elle says.
I laugh, “She’s incredible. It’s not possible.”
“You never told me she was so young. When you told me what Nash did, I couldn’t believe you’d be interested in the same woman.”
“She’s young but she has an old soul,” I say, glancing at her. I continue, “She loves hard, really hard. I never had a fucking chance.”
“I need to go see him, Liam.”
I blow out a long breath, “Can we deal with one difficult moment at a time?”
She nods, “Yeah. We can talk about it later.”
Deafening silence surrounds us for the rest of the drive. I pull into the parking lot of Jeffers, Artman, and Young Funeral Home and can’t believe this is happening. Both of my parents are gone in the blink of an eye. Somewhere I have biological parents, but poor Elle does not. At a mere twenty years old, both of her parents are dead.
“Are you okay, Cupcake?”
She giggles, “Wow, it’s been a long time since you called me that. But yeah, let’s do this.”
I nod, we get out of the vehicle and walk into the funeral home. We meet with Joe Young, one of the brothers that own the funeral home. He keeps eyeing my sister, and I’m not a fan. I’m well aware that men find her beautiful, but now is not the fucking time.
When Elle takes a seat, I motion for him to join me at the back of the room.