“Hold this,” I blurt and hand August my half-empty mug before turning toward Lisa and Thomas and stating, “I’m going to sit in his lap. It’s a thing we do. Don’t be weird about it.”
And then I crawl onto his lap and curl into him.
August’s body stiffens underneath mine and I want to regret it, but I regretnothing. Except maybe blurting that I love him. That was a mistake. I showed all the cards in my hand with that one.
But I do not regret needing him.
And I do need him.
There is nothing wrong with that.
Dr. K said so. He says its healthy––me opening up and letting someone in. I’ve spent most of my life pushing people away, resisting attachments, but with August, I find myself wanting to be tethered to him for all eternity.
August clears his throat and I swipe my coffee mug from his hand and take another sip, meeting Thomas’ wide gaze and Lisa’s confused one.
“Don’t look at me like that. I have attachment issues.”
Like that explains everything. It explains nothing. My attachment issues have nothing to do with this. This is just me being pathetically in love with this guy.
Thomas runs a hand down his face and Lisa just eyes me curiously before nodding. “Okay. That’s not…we can discuss this later.”
“Oh Jesus,” I mutter and August shifts beneath me, his hands on either side of his thighs. It bothers me more than it should. I want those hands on me. Always on me.
Baby steps, I suppose. He hasn’t thrown me off of him yet, so that’s a small win. And they both know I’m more than a little weird. I can just blame it on that. Sitting on his lap doesn’t mean that we’re fucking.
Unfortunately.
Soon. Very soon though.
I hope.
“…wanted to talk to you about….” Oh fuck. Lisa’s in the middle of saying something and I didn’t notice. I was too busy thinking about August’s hot ass and my dick sliding inside of it. I clutch the blanket around me tighter––don’t need our parents seeing my full salute.
“…Thomas and I discussed….” Lisa’s voice comes and goes in one ear and out the other. I’ve tuned her out. It’s a real problem I have. I take another long sip of my coffee and relax into August’s chest.
He’s still stiff as a board behind me, his heart thumping rapidly, and I wonder if I’ve finally pushed him too far. Maybe this time he’ll actually snap and yell at me for being so impulsive. Maybe this is my subconscious mind’s not-so-subtle way of testing him. If he yells, maybe that will make it easier for me to get over him.
“…we want to gift the house to you both.”
My eyes flick up to Lisa and then Thomas and I wave my hand in front of my face.
“I’m sorry,what?I wasn’t listening. Can you repeat that.Slowly.”
Lisa meets my gaze. “We are gifting you both this house. If you want it.”
“Um. Why?”
“We’d like you both to have it. Our sons.”
I glance up at August and he swallows roughly but remains quiet.
“Your sons?” I ask and find my eyes starting to sting. I haven’t had a mother in…well, ever.
“Where will you live?” I ask. And the minute it’s out of my mouth I know it’s a dumb question. Of course, she’ll live with Thomas in his condo.
“Thomas’ place. It’s just the right size for the two of us and then, Emery, you’d have a place to stay.”
I swipe at my eyes. “I don’t know if I can accept this.”