“You don’t?” August asks, allowing himself to follow my ADHD train of thought. It’s not easy because this train isn’t even on one track. It’s on ten.
Choo choo. Look out, people. Here I come.
“Nah, I mean, most people my age probably have it somewhat figured out by now, but I’m just trying to survive, you know? My therapist has been telling me to take it easy. Take it one day at a time. So, I’m really trying to follow that advice.”
I roll my sucker around my mouth and then pull it out. I don’t want him to think I’m a total loser, so I add, “I do have my associate’s degree, though. Not that it does much for me. I gotta decide what I want to do for my bachelor’s, though. But like, do I really even need one? I mean, aren’t they kind of useless most of the time? Maybe I’ll go into a trade or some shit. Become an interpreter or something.”
“Interpreter? Do you know another language?”
“Nope, but I’m sure it’s not too hard to learn one.”
I pop the sucker back inside and mull over this clusterfuck of a conversation. I know I’m talking a little too much, but I can’t seem to stop. This is the neurodiverse part of me working overtime.Even I can’t predict what I will say next.
“I mean, it’s not like I just sit around all day with my thumb up my ass. Right now, I’m just helping Lex with his IT business. Don’t do much but the books. I’m pretty good at math, actually.”
“Who’s Lex?” August asks, probably wondering why I’m not shutting up. Usually, our trips are so short that we don’t say much to each other. We drive from one end of town to the other. On a twenty-minute ride, I can literally bite my tongue until we arrive at our destination, but this trip is long.
Looooong.
I can’t quite help myself. I’m unhinged. A door hanging halfway off the frame.
“Oh,” I say. “Uh, he’s my friend. I’m staying with him for the time being. We were in the foster system together as kids. Spent a lot of time together growing up, and now we’re like inseparable. It's ride or die shit now.”
August taps his thumb on the steering wheel, and I force my gaze away from it. Because I want him to stick that thumb into my mouth so I can suck and nibble on it.
“You’re dying to ask, huh?” I say, leaning a little closer. I can smell the curiosity on him.
“You can read minds now?” he asks, and my lips turn up in a small smile.
“I can readyou.”
“No, you can’t.”
“I so can. You’re easy. You want to know about my time in the system. Want me to tell you? I can tell you if you want.”
August peeks over at me and then runs a hand through his hair. It falls perfectly back in place.
“Yeah. Okay.”
I waggle my sucker at him. “Okay, well, what will you give me for it?”
August’s eyebrows rise. “What?”
“Like, what will you give me in exchange for the info? I work on a sliding scale and am open to negotiations.”
“You want me to pay you?”
“Well, not in the traditional sense,” I reply and then eye those strong legs of his. “But I could be persuaded to share a little about myself for a kiss.”
August leans away from me and coughs lightly. “Um, that would be a no from me. Not happening.”
I laugh loudly at his horrified expression and move to the other side of the car, popping my sucker back in my mouth.
“Your loss. I’ll forever be a mystery. Imagine if we fucked? I’d tell you everything. I’d just rip myself right open, and you could take a long-ass look.”
His eyes widen and his breath hitches. He looks appalled, straight up mortified, that I even suggested it. “I’m not kissing you or…fucking you,” he mutters.
“Shame,” I say and then lean my head against the window and pull out my phone. I should have jacked off like Lex suggested. This is fucking misery.