“I guess I finally found theoffbutton,” he chuckles, and I peek up at him and see those green eyes looking back at me. I mean, I can’t really see them well, but I know the exact color because I’ve studied them for so long.
I have a tattoo on my arm that’s just the right shade. Took me forever to find it.
His essence is engraved on my skin––a reminder that he’s way too good for me, but maybe, if I’m lucky, some of his goodness will rub off on me.
His hand reaches up and brushes a strand of hair from my face, and he tucks it behind my ear.
“We should clean up.”
“In a minute,” I say, closing my eyes, my mind spinning with thoughts of his mouth on mine, his cock sliding against me. They drown out the other images, the painful ones.
I doze, half-awake and half-asleep, just listening to him breathe. Feeling his hands against my back. Neither of us seem to care that we’re literally lying in our own come.
“Is this weird for you?” I ask drowsily.
“Oddly enough, no.”
I peek up at him and he smiles softly at me. I’m getting used to those gazes. I don’t want to give them up. What am I going to do after we’re rescued? What if he never looks at me this way again?
“Okay, I’m going to clean us up before I lose the will,” I mutter and sit up. I glance around, unsure what to use to wipe up the come smeared across our abdomens.
August appears to know that I’m struggling to think, because he hands me a discarded shirt. When we’re both moderately clean, I allow myself to glance at his wounded face, and it all comes rushing back.
The dream, the way that I hurt him.
“I need to….” I swallow roughly and blink back tears, gently touching his face. August clasps my wrist, lightly presses his thumb against my pulse, like he’s measuring my heart rate.
“It’s right here,” he says, a first-aid kit emerging from the darkness. He flicks the flashlight on, and I blink rapidly at the sudden light. God, seeing it in the light is even worse. I’d rather live in the darkness until those red marks fade.
I force my gaze away, and with trembling fingers, I try and open the first-aid pouch but end up spilling everything all over the floor. With muttered curses, I try and collect it all. But I don’t get the chance because August is suddenly sitting up and pulling my hands in his.
“Hey,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to my fingers. “That doesn’t matter right now. You’re cold. Come on.”
He reaches into his duffle, pulls out a pair of pants and a long-sleeve shirt, and hands them to me. They’re his clothes. God, I want to wear his clothes forever.
I pull them on, then he wraps the emergency blanket around me, and I’m warm again. As I watch August pulling on clothes of his own, I realize that he took care of me first. My stupid heart stutters and swoons, because I can’t remember a time when anyone else put me first. But August always does, even when he doesn’t want to, even when he shouldn’t.He’s always put me first.
August quickly cleans his face before sliding back into the sleeping bag.
I don’t even hesitate to crawl back on top of him. I’m ravenous when it comes to being close to him. We tuck ourselves into the warmth, and then he spreads his hands across my back. He has a way with his fingers, massaging circles into my tense muscles, loosening them until I’m a pile of goo. I’m completely vulnerable, and yet I’ve never felt safer, even in the dark.
“Will that happen again if you try to sleep some more?” he asks, breaking me out of my trance.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry, Em.”
I clench my eyes shut. “Please, don’t apologize to me. I hurt you…you did nothing wrong.”
“No,” he says, pressing his lips to the crown of my head. “I’m sorry that you’ve had to experience things that would cause those kinds of nightmares. That shouldn’t…you shouldn’t…” his voice cracks, and he inhales deeply. “None of that should have happened to you. No child deserves that. I hope you know that, Em.”
He sniffles and exhales shakily.
Fuck. Is he crying? No one’s ever cried for me before.
Not my mother when I was taken away.
Not even Thomas when he found out I existed. He’d just stared at me in mild shock.