“We won’t,” I say. “We’re not going far.”
Emery stumbles on something, and I tuck him in even closer to my side.
“God, this reminds me of that time my mom forgot she had a kid and locked me outside all night long. Actually, that happened a few times.”
I glance over at Emery, but he’s not looking at me. Just chewing on his pop and looking around at the barren trees looming over us. Probably looking for those satanic owls he was going on about earlier.
He shudders. “Luckily, a neighbor usually found me and took me in for the night, but fuck, it was cold. That’s mostly why I hate the cold so much.”
He peeks up at me, and I take in his red nose and rosy cheeks.
“We’re going to be really cold tonight,” I tell him honestly.
“Yeah, but you have that sleeping bag and the crinkly blanket. We will be fine.”
“It’s an emergency blanket, and yeah, we’ll be okay.”
We walk for a moment more in silence, and then I ask, “Em, how old were you when your mom forgot about you and left you outside?”
“Oh fuck. Um, let me think. Probably around six years old, but it may have happened earlier than that and I just can’t remember. But let me tell you, I’d take the big, cold outside over the stuffy closet any day.”
I stop walking, and my arm tightens around him. He turns his face so we’re mere inches apart, and I just reach around and grasp onto the back of his neck.
“What do you mean by astuffy closet?”
Emery is looking everywhere but me now. The stick of his pop is poking out of his mouth. He rolls it around, moving it from one side to the other as he shifts on his feet.
I pry it from between his lips and tuck it in my pocket.
Emery clears his throat. “Yeah. You know…no biggie. It really doesn’t matter.”
I cup his face in my hands, forcing his gaze to meet mine. Because this is important. This could change everything between us. I’d known he’d had a traumatic past but never knew the details. Have I seriously misjudged him this whole time? How unfair have I been since meeting him?
“Em.”
He closes his eyes and sighs. “Can we forget I said anything?” He says softly. “I have a big mouth, and I can’t shut it long enough to keep all the bad thoughts in. You don’t want to hear this heavy shit.”
“Try me,” I say. I don’t let go of his face; I just hold onto him, and he lets out a shaky exhale.
“Fine, but like, are you sure? Because no one really wants to hear it.No one.Except for Dr. K because I pay him the big bucks. Well, the state pays him because I’m part of this Victims Fund….”
“Em,” I say softly, and his words trail off.
He blinks rapidly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
We stand in silence, a frigid breeze blowing across us, but neither of us notices. And then Emery says softly, “She’d lock me in a closet for days. That’s why I’m afraid of small spaces and the dark. It was always so damn dark.”
My breath leaves my body, and I feel my hands tightening around him.
“You’re hurting me, August,” Emery grunts, and I immediately loosen my hold on him, taking a step back.
“Fuck.”
“Hey,” he reaches out and clasps onto my hand. “It’s okay. No biggie, yeah? It’s all over and I’m working through it. Have been for years…I’ll probably be in therapy the rest of my life but it helps me some.”
I run a hand across my face, and then before I can think about it, I wrap my arms around him and pull him into my chest.