“August,” Emery sighs and presses his fists against his eyes. “Goddammit. This is so my life. You finally confess your love and I’m off to Cabo. I swear I’m not doing this to hurt you. I just feel obligated to go. Lex has always been there for me. He’s never let me down.”
And if that doesn’t feel like a stab to the gut. Because I have let him down, several times now. Emery’s still talking but I can’t even hear past the roar in my ears.
“Okay,” I interrupt. “It’s okay. I get it.”
“Really?” Emery asks, glancing at me cautiously.
“Yeah, I…fuck. I’ll help you pack and then walk you out.”
When he continues to stand there, I reach out and grasp onto his wrist, squeezing gently.
“This is not me letting you go. This is not me giving up on us. I’m fighting for this. I’ll be here when you get back.”
Emery swallows and blinks rapidly. “Okay.”
But he doesn’t say anything else. He’s just eerily quiet the entire time I help him repack his suitcase and I bite back the urge to plead with him. If he feels the need to go with Lex, he should go. I’m not going to stop him.
Perhaps this is the penance for my bad fucking choices. This is what I deserve.
“I think that’s all of it,” Emery says eyeing the open suitcase on the bed. His phone buzzes and he pulls it out. He bites his lip, peeking over at me.
I nod. I get it. Lex is here.
With a shuddered breath, I lean over, zip the suitcase closed, and heft it onto the floor.
“Let’s go,” I say, and I roll the suitcase to the front door and open it.
My hands shake as I walk him down the cement pathway to the street and Lex steps out of his car wearing a pink sarong and a Sombrero, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
“Ready, Eminem?” he asks as he eyes me. “Hello there, August. You look marvelous, as usual.”
I can’t even muster up a polite hello. I just give him a small nod in acknowledgement. Then I heft the suitcase into the trunk and turn to Emery who is watching me with wide eyes.
“Have fun,” I manage to choke out.
“I don’t even really want to go,” Emery says, leaning into me.
“Liar! This guy was going on and on about seeing sharks just an hour ago. Even booked some scuba diving tour where you can pet dolphins and octopuses,” Lex replies, hitting the top of the car roughly. Then he slips into the driver’s seat and slams the door shut.
“It’s fine. You can be excited to go. You should be happy. I want you to be happy,” I say, and Emery shifts on his feet.
“I’m happy with you. You…you’ll really wait for me?” he asks softly, and I reach out and pull him into me, my lips hovering over his. I just breathe him in but don’t let our mouths touch. It wouldn’t be fair. I’m not going to manipulate him into staying. He has to want to.
“Yes. Always.”
And I release my grip from him and step back.
Then he’s moving away from me. His door closes behind him and it all feels like a bad omen.
I watch them drive away as I fall to pieces.
And no one is around to pick me up.
* * *
EMERY
“You are sulking,” Lex says as he eyes me from the driver’s seat. He snuffs out his cigarette and I roll down my window, airing the car out. I glance in the side mirror and see August still standing there, his shoulders slightly hunched, his hands thrust in his pockets. And my heart cracks a little more.