My heart is pounding so fiercely now that my sternum aches but I still move up into his space. “Donotfuck him.”
“Oh, August, I will do whatever he needs me to do. And if it is bending over and letting him fuck you out of his system, so be it. I’ll take one for the team.”
I blanch at that. Just the thought of it makes my stomach ache.
“He’s mine,” I practically shout. “Mine.”
“He would have been, but you gave that up.”
“I didn’t give him up. I made a mistake. I literally just said the wrong thing in a moment of panic,” I raise my voice. “I said the wrong thing, Em!”
“Jesus, desperate much?” Lex asks, his eyes sweeping over me. “Although, you do wear it well.”
My entire body sags against the hallway wall and I run a hand down my face. “Tell him I stopped by. Please. Tell him I’ll fight for this, for him. He’s not a ghost. He’s not nothing. Please, Lex.”
He takes a long drag of his cigarette and blows it out of the corner of his mouth.
“I said the wrong thing, but if he would have stayed, he would have heard the rest. He should have heard the rest.”
He eyeballs me and sighs.
“Fine. But no promises. He’s sensitive. He’s been shit on one too many times. So be prepared to wait this out.”
I nod, and then stumble back to my car and sink into it. My forehead hits the steering wheel and for the first time in a long time, I let myself cry.
Because I did the one thing I never wanted to do.
I hurt him and now he’s gone.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
AUGUST
“Well, you look like shit,” Magnus says, eyeing me from head to toe. He met me at the batting cages after class and has been keeping my sad ass company.
“How long has it been since he left?”
“Two days.”
“Looks like it’s been a year,” Magnus replies and sweeps his eyes over me again.
It’s been the worst two days of my life. The house is empty without his presence. I sleep terribly, tossing and turning in our bed. This is worse than the entire month we were apart, because now I know the full magnitude of my feelings for him. I was beginning to picture a whole future with him. But now it seems like it’s over.
“And he still hasn’t replied to any of your texts?” Magnus asks, swinging and missing. He sighs, handing me the bat.
“No. It’s just a long string of pathetic messages from me, that I know he’s reading, but won’t respond to.”
“I would have thought he’d at least give you a chance. Perhaps you should tie him up and abduct him. Worked wonders for me.”
I eye my best friend and shake my head. “No way. Not with Em. He’s…he wouldn’t like that.”
I hit the next four balls and then turn to Mag.
“I think I just need to keep waiting. He will come back eventually, right? All of his stuff is at the house. He’ll need to get it, eventually. Then I’ll force a discussion out of him. He’ll have to listen to me, right?”
“Hm,” Magnus says and then shakes his head. “I’m sorry, friend. I know this is difficult.” I try and hand him the bat, but he just shakes his finger at me. “No. No more. My arms ache.”
I shrug and then spend the next thirty minutes hitting balls until my shoulders scream at me and it hurts to breathe.