“Why not? I’ve been having gay sex way longer than you.”
“Don’t care. We manage just fine.”
Magnus waves his hands excitedly. “Oh, do tell.”
“Nope.”
He sighs and then rolls his eyes. “Fine. Then at least give mesomething.”
I roll my lips between my teeth and look away, that awful feeling crawling into my stomach when I say, “Um, well, I haven’t told my mom yet. About us.”
“And why ever not? She’s cool.”
“Yeah, I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And she probably already knows because the other day Emery just crawled right onto my lap. In front of her. And she had this look in her eye, like she knew something was going on.”
“So, then what’s the big deal?”
“I’ve sat down so many times to tell her, but I can’t get the damn words out, Mag. Why? Can you tell me what’s up? Because I cannot figure it out.”
He taps his fingers against his lips and then says, “I mean you’re essentially outing yourself to the most important person in your life. Some people take decades before they’re comfortable coming out as something other than straight. I mean, random strangers are one thing, and of course, I basically guessed what was going on. But your mom is another thing entirely. And you’re going to tell her that you’re fucking your stepbrother. So yeah, I get that it would be stressful.”
My chest deflates as I sigh. “Ugh, I’m so glad you get it. I felt like I was going crazy.”
“Well, I, for one, get not telling your family. I mean, I haven’t even told mine about Sem. And we’re married for fuck’s sake. And I never actually officially came out to them.”
“Well, your family are bigoted assholes, so I get why you don’t tell them shit. They don’t deserve you.”
“Yeah, but your mom is cool, and Thomas won’t say a word about it, right? I’d just blurt it out randomly one day. Send an anonymous note. Tape one to her door and run away.”
I laugh at that and Magnus smiles at me. “Hey, August. You tend to overthink shit and I want you to hear me on this. You’ll both be fine in the end. Emery adores you.”
My whole body heats at those words. “How do you know?”
“Because how could he not. You’re amazing. There’s a reason we are besties.”
I rub at my eyes. “Stop with the sentimental shit, Mag.”
“Aw,” he mutters and then says. “Hey, let’s do a double date. I want to observe the two of you together. Like animals in a zoo. See the mating habits and all that. How about this weekend?”
“You mean, Emery and I and you and Sem. On a date?”
Magnus smiles. “Of course. Who else would you take?”
I run a hand through my hair and sigh. “Yeah, I’ll ask Em. I think he’d really like that.”
“Of course he would. And then sometime in the very near future, you tell your mom. I can be there with you if you want. We can do it together.”
“I just don’t want to disappoint her, Mag,” I whisper.
“You won’t. I guarantee it. She is so proud of you. She’s always raving about you. She just wants you to be happy. If she could be my mom, I’d adopt her.”
I look away and blink. “Yeah, and that’s the problem. Everyone has such high expectations of me that I worry about letting everyone down. My mom. Em. You.”
“Puhleeze,” Mag drawls, holding up his hand. “I have like zero expectations of you. Like none at all.”
I shove at him, and he giggles. “JK. JK.”
“But you’re right. I just…I need to figure this out before things get more serious.”