Suddenly, Sem’s in front of me, crowding me. His face is drawn, his hair falling messily over his eyes.
“Maggie,” he breathes, and then I’m pulled up into those strong arms and cradled against his chest. His walk is clipped, and then he starts to jog, bringing me back up toward my apartment. I hold on to him, clutching at his shirt, fisting it in my palm. The pain in my foot is almost forgotten as I press my face against his neck, inhaling him.
God, he smells so good. I missed him.
Don’t go. Don’t leave me again.
My breath comes out in choppy waves, and then I’m sobbing as he pushes through the apartment door and gingerly sets me down on the kitchen table. I keep his shirt clenched in my fist, and he reaches up and pries it from my fingers. His touch burns as I grasp for him.
Sem’s face falls, his eyes taking in my wrecked state, and he reaches out to swipe at the tears on my cheeks but then quickly pulls his hand back. He tucks it against his side, his fist flexing over and over.
He doesn’t even want to touch me. How is that possible when he couldn’t keep his hands off me mere days ago?
“Will you…” Sem turns to Colin and swallows roughly.
Why the fuck is he still here? Why won’t he just go away? He’s ruining everything.
Sem exhales shakily and says, “Will you make sure he gets this taken care of? You’ll do that, right? Take care of him. For me?”
Colin nods and then says, “Why don’t you stay? I can go. He wants you to stay.”
“No…no, I really can’t. Please.”
Colin clears his throat and nods, his eyes wide. I can barely see him through the tears invading my vision.
“Don’t you fucking go,” I whisper through broken breaths. My throat is closing in on me, and I reach out but just grab onto air.
Sem looks away, taking a step back. “It’s better this way. I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry. I just…missed you. But you’re better off, Maggie. I have to go.”
I swipe at my running nose and shake my head frantically. “What the hell are you talking about? Why won’t you understand? It’snotbetter this way. You arenotleaving me with Colin. You can take care of me just fine.I wantyouto take care of me, Sem.”
Sem’s jaw works back and forth, and for a moment, I think he’ll change his mind, but then he just shakes his head and takes another step back. He turns to face Colin and says softly, “Please make sure he sees a doctor for this. It looks deep.”
“Don’t you fucking leave,” I cry, my voice breaking. “If you leave, it’s over. Do you hear me? Over.”
Sem looks at me with glassy eyes and runs a hand down his face. “You were always too good for me anyway. This wouldn’t have lasted.” And then he turns and disappears.
A small sob escapes my mouth, and I clench my chest. If my heart was broken before, I’d been fooled.
No, my heart is obliterated now.
I curl up on the table and only move when Colin carries me to my bed.
* * *
When I wake up in the middle of the night, I hobble into the kitchen and see Colin’s finally gone. He’d stayed with me, bandaging up my foot and promising to take me to the doctor tomorrow. I ignored him, my face buried in a pillow, my eyes shut. I don’t care about my foot or seeing a doctor. They could all go to hell.
I hiss when my heel hits the floor. It’s a nice reminder that I’m alive when I feel dead inside.
Reaching up, I grab a glass of water, fill it and gulp it down, letting the water soothe my sore throat. Some dribbles down my chin, and I just let it. I’m a freaking mess and I don’t know what to do.
Leaning my forehead against the fridge, I breathe deeply, fighting back the sudden wave of nausea that’s hit me. I can’t believe he showed up and then left me,again. How much different would it have been if Colin hadn’t been here? Would Sem have stayed and talked?
I gag slightly and breathe through my nose. When the wave of nausea recedes, I tilt my head, and my eyes catch on a piece of paper rustling around on the kitchen table. I hop over and smooth it out.
“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.” -The Art of War
Don’t give up.