I hummed, finishing up my last sentence on the marriage section.
“They grilled me, Jacques. They wouldn’t let me leave till I told them everything about you guys, from what you eat for breakfast to your favorite cologne. They were specifically interested in you.”
“Not a concern seeing as you know very little about me,” I said mildly.
“Don’t I?”
Rainey curled over my typing fingers. Pointedly, she lifted my hand, clearing the way to swing her leg over and straddle me. The screen blotted out as my vision beheld her soft waves, piercing eyes, and full, chapped, pink lips.
“I know you love chocolate but you’re rigid about how much of it you eat. A sweet tooth, but it, like everything else, does not get to control you. I know most people don’t understand you, and the effort they put into trying is the effort you give back. You’re okay with questions, curiosity, and discussions... but no one asks.
“I know you think your new little cousin is the most fascinating bundle of wonder you’ve ever seen. That she’s proof that no matter how much you know the world, it can still surprise you. I know you like comedies because they’re the twenty or forty minutes of the day you can shut your brain off, but you hide that because it wasn’t encouraged.”
Rainey stroked my stiffening jaw.
“At all times you had to be learning, pushing, striving to be and seen as the best. All those competitions and academic decathlons your parents entered you in when you were young. I dug up the articles. They were years where you did, and won, up to six events in a year. I don’t imagine that left you much time running in the park, skinning your knees with the other kids.
“I know your favorite color is blue. You’re ambidextrous. You love history, and you don’t have sex.”
My brow twitched—a half a millisecond movement, but she noticed.
“I’m not saying you won’t or never had sex, but”—her fingers trailed along my neck, tickling my collarbone—“even though you clearly enjoy me bare-assed in front of you, rocking back on your fingers as you whip me raw.”
My cock hardened—rising, as if seeking her to show just how much he enjoys it.
“You don’t take it further or let me return the favor because then I’d see something no one is supposed to see: Jacques Stone lose control.” Rainey kissed the corner of my mouth. “How many times after our morning spankings did you retreat to your room to masturbate?”
Every time.
“How many nights did you picture me on my knees, worshiping your cock like I do Legend’s? Playing your dirty little whore like I do for Arsenio? Indulging your every socially unapproved fantasy? Or extracting your mind-blowing orgasms on the point of pain?”
I clutched the chair arms to stop their shaking. Didn’t work.
Rainey vibrated on top of me, brushing against my dick. She moved slowly up and down, and my lips peeled back.
“I would do all of that and more for you, Jacques Stone, but I can’t until I’m someone you trust to see you lose control.” She kissed me, snarling and all. “I know that because I know you. So don’t tell me I don’t.”
Breathing hard, I got myself under control. Slowing my pulse. Balling and unballing my fists. Smoothing my expression. Bringing down the mask. When I trusted myself, I spoke.
“I underestimated you, so you punished me,” I said, glancing at the erection that would not be tamed as easily. “I apologize, de Souza. You know me—possibly better than anyone.”
Surprise flickered in her eyes. She wasn’t expecting me to admit it, but it’s a vain fool who doesn’t recognize he’s been bested, or in the presence of his match. As Rainey revealed, I was many things, but a fool was not one of them.
“Now that I know this, it is worth closing my laptop.” I brushed my lips over hers, catching her small gasp as melting chocolate on my tongue. “How much of that did you tell Ellis?”
“He wouldn’t let me leave until I gave him something.”
“Answer the question, de Souza.”
Rainey cupped my cheeks. “None of it,” she whispered. “I just told you that you won’t give yourself to me until I’m someone you trust absolutely. Why would I risk that for the likes of Jeremy Ellis and the Crows?”
“Hmm.” She was soft and sweet, peppering me with kisses—claiming my eyes, nose, cheeks, and lips. “I find myself growing attached to you.”
I could’ve been speaking about the weather, and I was. Rain had come into my life, washing away my bullshit to reveal the true man crouching beneath.
“I would not appreciate it if you left,” I said.
“Don’t.”
“I won’t, Jacques.” She rested in the crook of my neck. “I’m not going anywhere.”
We sat there for a long time, saying nothing. Doing nothing to someone looking in from the outside. But Rainey knew what was changing. As did I.