“I didn’t shoot them but I didn’t save them,” I reply. “That’s as honest an answer as I can give. I’d do anything to go back and save them but I can’t.”
“So you didn’t shoot them? You’re not lying to me, are you?”
“I have never lied to you. Except when I said I would give you twenty-four hours. I don’t want twenty-four hours, Chloe. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you.”
I look at her. She’s not saying anything. She’s just looking in front of her, not even blinking.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks.
“Because I only just worked it out myself.”
“Not that. About your mom. Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” She looks across at me. “Blizzard told me how she died, what he did to her. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not a burden anyone else needs to carry.”
“Would have reduced your burden though, wouldn’t it?”
“I’m sorry, all right. I’ve never told anyone about that night. I swore an oath that I would avenge her. I’ve waited a long time to get Blizzard and Umberto for what they did. I used you to get justice and that was wrong of me. I should have told you from the start.”
“Yeah, you should.”
“I’m sorry I got you involved in any of this,” I continue. “I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. I warned you I was bad news. Shit, I knew I’d fuck you up. Fuck this up. It’s what I do. I ruin things. I didn’t shoot your parents but I as good as pulled the trigger when I joined the family. If you want, I’ll toss the ring out the window and never go back to the city again. Is that what you want?”
I look at her. Still staring out the front. “Say something,” I demand. “Say anything. Tell me to go to hell if you want but don’t just sit there.”
“Take me home,” she says, at last, glancing my way with tears in the corner of her eyes. “What I want is to go home.”
40
CHLOE
* * *
It feels good to see my front door again. I’m getting out of my car when Jeb walks past, his jaw dropping open. He stares at me so hard, that he trips and falls into the road. “Told you you’re weird,” he says, shaking his head at me as he goes by.
“Hey, Jeb?” I call after him. He looks back at me as I raise my middle finger. “Go fuck yourself.”
He scurries off like he’s seen a ghost. I can imagine how I look. A lot like a ghost.
I think about yelling to him, “Have my scores gone down?”
I haven’t got the energy to give a shit what anyone thinks of me right now. I need to take a long bath and then climb into bed, window open. I don’t know if I’ll ever want it closed again. Not after being trapped in that coffin.
I walk over to the mailbox, my mind working on automatic. I get out the mail and head up the path to the front door with it under my arm, just like when I’m coming home from work.
I pick up the spare key from under the loose stone in the rockery by the front door. I unlock the door, walk inside, and almost fall.
Enzo goes to catch me and I get an insane image of the last time I did this, tripping and falling into him. Then I get a vision of him tripping and falling into his foster father, stealing his car keys before killing him with his own car.
“Don’t,” I say, pushing him away from me. “Just don’t. I don’t want anyone touching me.”
He lets go of me. “I’ll give you some time,” he says, turning around and walking toward his car.
I haven’t the energy to tell him to stop. To tell him that I love him. It’s my love that nearly got me killed. I shouldn’t have come up with my plan. Almost every part of it that could go wrong, did go wrong.
I almost died. I almost suffered a worse fate than that at the hands of the man who killed Enzo’s mother. To hear what he did to her, to think that could happen to me. The thought chills my blood.
I walk through to the kitchen, putting the mail and the key on the table. The letters slide across the surface and I notice one that’s been couriered here.