“He was drunk,” I say and I can’t say anything else for a moment.
“Who was?”
“My foster father. He was drunk in the middle of the road, coming back from the bar the same as he did every night. I knew when he’d be coming home but that night, I’d taken his keys. He was coming back to tan my hide because he knew I’d done it after I came to beg ten bucks off him. It was this dive bar called Benny’s. He slapped me when I asked for cash, and told me to get out of his face. I tripped and fell into him, and took the keys right out of his pocket while I did it. He’d taught me how to lift stuff like that but he didn’t notice me doing it to him.”
I stop for a breath and realize I’ve got her full attention now. I look at her and keep talking.
“I waited in the parking lot for him to stagger out. If he’d not been such a tight ass he’d have gotten a cab home but a proper drinker always spends his last bucks on booze, not rides. So he walked and I followed, creeping after him until I was sure there was no one nearby, no one to see it happen. Then I floored it until I wiped him out. Broke his neck and his back. He was dead before the ambulance got to him. I drove back home and told my sister what I’d done. Drove the car up here and covered it up and it’s been up here ever since.”
I hadn’t planned on telling her this. She already told me she didn’t want to hear it tonight. She’s too tired and wrung out and I’m not surprised.
She nods, suddenly getting to her feet as though she’s done with me.
I reach out to her. “So now you don’t want to hear what I have to say?”
She rubs her face. “I’ve had enough, Enzo. These last few days have been insane. Maybe I’m crazy, maybe you are, but I feel like I’m riding a rollercoaster with no brakes, and sooner or later we’re both going to fly off the rails and there’s no soft landing waiting for us.”
She looks at me, sighing as she massages her temples with her fingertips. “I can’t take anymore. Now I can’t stop thinking about how low you must have been to feel that was your only option but I haven’t got the energy left to listen anymore. I’m sorry, I’ve got to get some sleep.”
I feel completely sorry for her, for everything I’ve done to her. She didn’t deserve any of this. What have I done to her? Broken her? Ruined one more good thing, that’s what. Like I always do.
Her voice is small and quiet as she continues. “I’m sure you’ve got a lot more to tell me, and I want to hear it, but not right now. Not this minute. I need to feel safe and get some sleep and something inside me says that’s not going to happen if I listen to any more of your bedtime stories.”
I can’t disagree with that. I nod and stand up, stepping to her side. She rests her head against my shoulder like a child.
“Just tell me one thing,” she says. “Was he a bad person? Your foster father, I mean.”
“The worst.”
“Then don’t feel bad about what you did to him.”
“It’s funny. That’s the same thing Imelda used to say to me.”
“She sounds like a smart cookie.” She lifts her head from me. “Where do I sleep?”
“You take the master bedroom. There’s a guest one at the back. I’ll sleep in there tonight.”
“You sure you don’t want to sleep with me? Break that rule of yours again?”
“You want me to?”
“I’d feel safer if you did.”
“Then come on. Let’s put you to bed.”
27
CHLOE
* * *
He leads me through to the bathroom. I feel so safe it’s like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders. No one can hurt me now, not with Enzo taking care of me. That’s why I’m so tired. Because he’s here protecting me, I can relax.
I should be afraid of him. I should also be getting him to tell me the truth about everything that’s led up to this point. But right now I’m so tired, I don’t care about any of it. All I want to do is rest.
He bathes my bleeding cheek in warm water, wiping it clean and then applying a plaster to the patch where Sandra bit me. I watch as he does so, feeling my desire for him grow. I don’t know how I can think like this after everything that’s happened but maybe it’s because of it.
After death came so close, maybe I want an affirmation that I’m alive, that I’m safe, that fate has something more positive in store for me than being killed at the dinner table.