They were all scheduled to leave in the morning, with Damon, Caroline and the baby on a private flight to New York, while Victoria made the short drive to her university. Now that the arrangements were set, Damon could relax enough to help put his son to bed for the first time.
His son.
Rejoining Caroline over the porta-crib in a room they’d designated as the nursery, Damon watched as she expertly laid the swaddled bundle on the freshly washed sheets she’d pulled out of the dryer a few minutes ago. Dinosaurs cartwheeled around the border of the blanket. Lucas’s baby hand clutched the satin trim of the cover, his grip sporadic and unintentional. He seemed to be at an age where he flexed his fingers simply to make use of them. His stare was vacant and sleepy for a moment before he closed his eyes again.
“He’s a miracle,” Damon said earnestly. He continued to watch the baby drift into a deeper sleep, his tiny hand falling lightly on the mattress beside his nose. “I need to make up for a lot of lost time with him.”
“You could always…take the late shift for his next feeding,” Caroline offered haltingly, as if she wasn’t sure how much labor to share. Or how much he wanted to take part in parenting.
No doubt about it, they were tentative around each other now, though she did seem more relaxed since they’d retrieved the baby. It was obvious that motherhood made her happy. She might not have feelings for him anymore, but Damon had no doubt that she loved their child profoundly. She practically glowed when she looked at Lucas.
Damon wasn’t sure if that was a normal connection, or if her attachment was all the stronger because of what she’d gone through during her pregnancy. He’d read her official statement, the detached summary of facts not doing justice to the hell she must have gone through. The fear. Loneliness. Confusion. Of course, there was no “statement” for him to read about her experience afterward with her father. How much had Stephan Degraff added to his daughter’s fears by keeping her in the dark about her marriage? How could anyone let their daughter think she was alone in parenting a newborn when she had a husband desperately searching for her?
“I’ll gladly take the late shift.” He relished the quiet time in the dim nursery with her now after a day that had come at him from all sides. “It will give me a chance to get to know him.”
“I’m going to take you up on that.” She moved toward the night-light and switched it to a lower setting. “Having Victoria babysit him the last two days has helped me catch up on rest, I think. I feel better than when I left my father’s house.”
“All the more reason to secure some help with him.” Damon had brought in two potential nanny candidates and asked Caroline to interview them while he dealt with the security team. Caroline had liked them both, but insisted she wanted to care for Lucas on her own. “An extra caregiver could give you much needed time to recover from the pregnancy and the ordeal you’ve been through.”
He followed her to the door and closed it partially behind them while Caroline paused in the hallway to pull up the nursery monitor’s video feed on her phone.
“I realize that.” She tucked the phone in the pocket of her shawl sweater, flipping her ponytail behind her shoulder. “But I like caring for him myself. Being with him.”
“And I admire that. But you’ll have more energy to enjoy him if you’re taking good care of yourself. But we can debate this another time.” He opted for a strategic temporary retreat on the subject rather than risk backing her into a corner. Damon pointed toward the second-story patio that she liked, hoping he could persuade her to unwind with him for a while. He needed to make his case to recommit to their marriage. “I had some of that herbal tea you like brought out near the fire pit if you want to stargaze before bed.”
“You did?” She tipped her head to one side to look out toward the patio where flames leaped from the copper bowl. “That sounds good, actually. Thank you.”
Her careful politeness bothered him. It reminded him of his own hesitation. No doubt about it, there was an awkwardness between them now. A cool wariness behind the facade.
“We have a lot to talk about before tomorrow.” He pushed open the French doors from the master suite’s sitting room that led to the patio. “But I don’t want to wear you out.”
“I’ll be fine.” She stopped to look up at the sky, tipping her head back to see the stars while a cool breeze blew the hem of her sweater against him. “So much happened today, my head is still spinning.”
There had been a time when he would have wrapped his arms around her to steady her. To kiss her until they were both breathless and ready for more.