Why did my husband have to die?
“Fuck you, cancer! Fuck you, cruel universe! Fuck everything and everyone!” I shook violently as anger pulsed in my veins.
I wouldn’t be in this position if Matt were here. I wouldn’t be alone in our bed, alone raising our sons. I wouldn’t be alone, alone, alone every goddamn day.
Dread set in.
I’d felt dead to the core after Matt’s death. He’d left behind a soulless shell.
Then Art had entered the picture, and I’d started to feel like me again, vibrant and alive.
But he’s too young.
I know that!
Strong arms wrapped around me, warm lips grazed my neck. “Sweetness, I’m so sorry I made you cry. I was a dick for siding with Storm. I was only thinking of your safety.”
I stiffened and shook my head. “Don’t Art.” I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let me go. “Please. I’m okay.”
His embrace tightened as he continued to kiss me. “You’re not okay, but you will be. Let me take care of you… Comfort you. Love—”
“No.” My reply didn’t match my physical reaction. I stood there, letting him hold me. Absorbing his warmth into my soul and it flickered.
“I’m sorry about last night, sweetness. I would never intentionally hurt you.”
“We have to stop this.”
“Never. I want you. I need you. And I know you want and need me too.”
“I don’t.”
He chuckled with his lips on my neck. “Liar.”
“I have to get back inside.”
He turned me around and took my face in his hands. With his body, he pressed me against the metal building. “Why are you being so difficult? It shouldn’t be this hard to be with a person. We’re adults, Eve.” The frustration in his voice was palpable.
“You’re closer to my sons’ age, Art.”
He groaned. “Christ, are we back to that? Closer by a couple of years. That’s not a good enough argument. If you don’t want me, just fucking tell me.” He dropped his hands and took a step back. “I won’t play games. I’m in love with you. Completely in love with you. If you can’t see it or feel it, then I must be a goddamn idiot.”
His features hardened as he stared at me. To hear him verbalize his feelings gutted me. I didn’t want to hurt him, but what choice did I have? My sons’ wouldn’t approve, the club wouldn’t approve, fucking society wouldn’t approve. The whole universe would be against us. I couldn’t bring that kind of chaos and drama into so many lives.
“I’m not playing games either.” I steeled myself for the second most heartbreaking moment of my life. “I told you nothing will ever happen between us, but you keep pushing and seducing me every chance you get.”
His eyes filled with emotion. “So you’re telling me to stay away and forget you? After more than a year of dancing around each other and finally giving in to our desires, you’re going to push me away.”
“I don’t see how we can ever be more than friends.” I was slaying my own barely-beating heart.
“That’s bullshit. You’re just afraid.”
He wasn’t wrong. I was terrified of the fallout. I had to put my sons and the club above my own happiness, above Art’s happiness.
“In time, you’ll see this is for the best.” I didn’t believe my own words.
Art’s lips were on mine in a flash. His hands caressed my hips, then he lifted my leg to hook it around the back of his thigh. His kiss was desperate and unyielding, passionate and possessive. He thrust his cock into the apex of my thigh, and my resolve faltered.
I whimpered into his mouth. “We can’t do this.” My body betrayed me as I arched my pelvis toward him to rub against him.