She came to my side. “And.”
“And nothing. Each time I think it might be possible for us to be a couple, I’m shown how wrong it would be.”
“Oh, honey. Did something happen?”
“I talked to him the other night.” And had given him a blowjob, but Tina didn’t need to know that part.
When I’d gone to Art’s bedroom, it was with the intent to talk, not suck him off. Seeing him in only a black towel hanging low on his hips had jumpstarted my motor. I’d lost all sense of myself and had acted on impulse.
“And?”
“And nothing. It’s better this way.” I scooped flour into the bowl. “I need to put everything behind us.”
“Is that really possible? I mean, you’re in love with him.”
I tilted my head, giving her a look. “Don’t say that again. Someone might hear you.” I could trust Tina to keep my secret. It might eat at her, but she wouldn’t breathe a word about my short-time fling with Art.
Fling? You’re an idiot. Two people in love don’t equal a fling.
“Sugar, let your heart lead you.”
“Can’t. In time we’ll both get over it and move on.” I cracked eggs into the bowl. “I lost my head briefly, but I’m getting it back on straight again.”
Tina didn’t reply as she checked on the sausage in the oven. What could she say? This was my life—I called the shots.
At least I didn’t need to worry about Wolf telling anyone he saw me leaving Art’s room while he was only wearing a towel. Wolf was a man of his word. I could trust him as I did Tina. Bonus, he’d be gone for who knew how long searching for Rosa Remotti Morrison. Yeah, Wolf wasn’t my concern. I was terrified of what Art might do.
This is only the beginning, Sugar.After he’d fucked me for the first time last month, his words had repeated in my head daily and kept my blood pressure in an unhealthy range.
I shook the memory of that day away and turned my attention to mixing the waffle batter. I wished I didn’t feel on edge so early in the morning.
I hadneverbeen like this: a nervous wreck over a man. Like when I first met Matt, I’d been fearless and took charge of the situation when he had tried to push me away because I was the sheriff’s daughter. Our chemistry had been off the charts, insta-love and all that. There’d been no way I could let Matt go.
Sort of like not being able to make a clean break with Art—but still different, of course.
As I stirred the batter, I was on the verge of cardiac arrest, anticipating Art’s arrival. I’d had the same reaction every day since my epic indiscretion of letting him fuck me. I’d kept telling myself that Art would eventually move on to one of the young, perky kittens or find a sweet woman his own age and fall in love. But then, an image of him with someone else would cause acute pain in my heart. I’d bend over, clutching my stomach as tears filled my eyes.
It was utter ridiculousness and insanity to feel so strongly for a man I should never consider.
When had my feelings for him changed?
I thought I had treated him like the other men in the club. I cared deeply for every member, the women, and the children. Hell, I even cared about the kittens. The Knight’s Legion MC was my family. And like with any other family, we had the good, the bad, and the ugly in ours.
Why hadn’t I noticed when things changed between Art and me? It wasn’t like I had an instant attraction to him the way I had with Matt. My late husband and I had been fireworks from the start, soul mates, and meant to last a lifetime together. But cancer had taken him from me at the young age of thirty-nine.
I stared into the mixing bowl to control my emotions. Guilt was a relentless bitch. My husband had been gone six years. Was I to be alone for the rest of my life and never have companionship? Love? Sex?
Matt had told me before he died that he didn’t want me alone and to find a member in the club to take his place. As if anyone on the planet could replace my man. They’d broken the mold when they made him. I couldn’t imagine being with one of his MC brothers back then. But now…
I drew in a deep breath as Art’s handsome face popped into my head. He hadn’t joined the club until a year after Matt passed. I guessed the two not knowing each other had made it easier to fall for Art, despite our age difference.
Art, Arthur Panek, had been a cocky artist with a taste for danger from the start. It had taken a couple of years for Storm and Raul to reign in his wild side. On his twenty-sixth birthday, they’d made him manager of Human Canvas Tattoo Parlor. Not long after, the word had spread about his artistic talents in the Upper Midwest.
Right before my eyes, Art had matured into an incredibly sexy man.
Then when most of the members were at Boxer and Snow’s wedding, Art and I had shared a moment. I’d literally fallen into his arms, and a fire had ignited in me, then I had changed.
We had changed.