11
Lynx
Wednesday nights in the clubhouse’s bar were generally quiet. My brothers and I sat around drinking and relaxing. Sometimes we played a game of pool. Other times, I had Amber or Heidi on my lap as I listened to classic rock. Then after a while, I’d take the kitten up to my bedroom.
Fuck if I didn’t want to do any of it.
I only cared about getting wasted. Relishing a tequila-induced coma.
I hadn’t been feeling myself the last couple of days. More specifically, since Becca’s BJ test. It had royally fucked me up. I couldn’t make sense of it. I felt violated, which was ridiculous. Lynx, the ladies’ man,alwaysenjoyed his sexual activities. It had been different with Becca. No, not only her. It wouldn’t have been right with any of the applicants. Or kittens.
When vomit had crept into my throat, I’d pushed it down and faked for my brothers like I was getting my rocks off. After everyone left, I’d locked myself in my office and raged.
Something had changed in me, but I didn’t know what or why. It was fucked up.
Whatever it was had made me a dick to my employees, a rude bastard to the little old lady at the gas station, and a loner. None of it was me.
More shocking than everything else, I pushed away the kittens. It’d been five days since I had sex, not counting Becca’s test. Five. Days. The longest I ever went without was two days.
What the fuck was going on?
My eyes locked on a neon beer sign on the wall to avoid my brothers’ stares. They watched me as if waiting for me to lose my shit. Maybe they were right to be concerned as I gulped from the bottle.
Someone tapped my shoulder. I lifted my chin to see who would dare bother me and my tequila.
“In my office,” Storm ordered, then walked away.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I groaned, placing my juice on the table. I’d been clutching it to my chest like a security blanket.
Track eyed me. “Want me to come with?”
“No.” As if I couldn’t handle the Prez.
“Well, I might be the reason he wants to see you.” Track shifted in his seat and guzzled his beer.
“What the hell did you tell him?” My gaze rounded the table. Copper, Wolf, and Ire looked guilty as all get out. “Okay, assholes. What’s going on?” My muscles locked up, my heart jumping into a fierce gallop.
Had they somehow found out about my mom’s illness?
Track pointed at me. “See, right there. Your attitude sucks. Something’s making you an irritable fuck. Maybe you’re depressed. Who knows? But, brother, we’re concerned.”
Jesus Christ. This was the sort of thing I feared happening. A fucking intervention.
I pushed my chair back, scraping the floor. “I just have shit on my mind,” I growled. “I can’t always be rosy-fucking-sunshine for you dipshits. Some days I need a break from being your goddamn entertainment!”
I stomped out of the bar with my hands fisted at my sides, grinding my teeth. I hadn’t been this out of control since I was a teenager. I needed to get a grip.
“What?” I barged into Storm’s office.
Prez reclined in his leather chair with an assessing eye. “Shut the door.”
I kicked it closed, then dropped into a seat in front of his desk.
“Jesus Christ. I don’t need this shit from you or anyone else. I’m fine.” I hit my hand on my chest. “Fucking fine.” I slammed my fist on my heart once, twice, a third time. Any second I would explode in a fit of rage. I hated getting to this point. Losing control never ended well.
Prez was uncharacteristically calm. “Libby told me Jaynee texted you during the kitten interviews. You zoned out for a minute and acted weird afterward.”
An exaggerated groan left my lips. “Really? That’s why I’m in here? So she texted. I got lost in my thoughts. Big fucking deal.”