He reared back, his ice-blue eyes full of misery. “Say it again.”
“Z.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “God, I’ve missed hearing you call me that.” His hands caressed my arms. “I didn’t mean sex, Snow. I need you tonight, but I know we can’t yet.”
“No, we can’t.” I wouldn’t be the other woman. Zach had an old lady. If he didn’t want her, fine. He needed to end it with her first. Even then, what was going on with us? How did we go from hating each other to this?
Wait. We shouldn’t have hated each other or been apart. If Jill hadn’t…
A whimper caught in my throat.
He growled low. “I will have you again, baby. Soon. But tonight, I only want to hold you. Kiss you. Drink you into my soul after the ten-year drought I’ve been in.” He pulled back, running his thumb across my bottom lip. “Okay?”
My stomach flipped. We were two different people now. Could it really be so easy to just pick up where we left off? After everything? I didn’t know, so I nodded my reply.
If we could find our way back to each other, I wanted to try.
Despite the contempt I felt for him all these years, it had been unwarranted. Zach remained in my heart and soul, regardless of my attempts to forget him. I never stopped wishing I could be with him.
Zach guided me out of the shower. He brushed my hair, then braided it like he used to, fastening it with a hair tie I had in my coat pocket. The whole time he stared at me in the mirror.
My heart literally felt like it was in my throat as his hands brushed down my shoulders to my arms, lifting my hands up to inspect my wrists.
Tears flooded my eyes as he placed a gentle kiss on each one. He was tearing down my walls. Breaking me so he could rebuild me from the ground up, wiping out Casso from my memories.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said in a low voice.
I blinked rapidly. Did he know?
“I don’t care how long it’s been, Snow. Where you’ve been or with who. I don’t care what we’re currently going through because of that asshole.” He turned me around to face him. “Nothing matters except having you in my life again. We were meant to be together.” His voice caught, and he dropped his head, shaking it. “I’m so fucking pissed at Jill for screwing with our lives.”
“I’m sure she thought she was protecting me.” Now I’d never be able to ask her why she didn’t give me the letters.
“Bullshit. She interfered where she didn’t belong.” A single tear rolled down his cheek. “Dammit, she should’ve confronted me, then I could’ve told her the truth. Instead, she sent my letters back as if she was you.”
“Did you keep them?”
He blew out a breath, steeling himself. “Every one of them.”
I wiped the wetness from his face, cradling it the way he’d done mine. “I’d like to read them.” I guided him toward me and kissed him softly, stroking my thumbs across his beard to soothe him.
A lot was different about him, brutal and harsh in some ways, but the way he kissed me hadn’t changed. With our lips locked, our bodies pressed together, I was exactly where I always believed I was meant to be… In his arms.
25
Boxer
After taking my shower, I crawled into bed and spooned Aspen. I was quick about it, not lingering. Something was up with her. Yeah, I got it. We’d been through hell today. She’d been through more—and for far longer—before she escaped Campbell’s prison.
But I didn’t think any of that was it.
I couldn’t get over how she pushed me away before the shit with Baldie went down. Something held her back from me. I wanted to know what.
Or was it a who?
She wore my T-shirt to bed. I’d hoped she wouldn’t put on any clothes, but I knew she was still spotting. And it might be weird sleeping together after all this time.
Not for me. But maybe for her.