“I’m certain he’s been punishing himself every single day since Tommy died.” It broke my heart to think of Kaleb living in his own personal hell. “When was the second time you heard from him?”
“Back in June. He called asking for help with his security system. He said he’d found himself a good woman and wanted to make sure she was safe. He sounded happy, liked he’d finally dealt with his demons.” Toby considered me for several beats. “I’m guessing you had everything to do with it.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged, drying my eyes with a tissue. But I knew it was the truth. “Is it weird?”
“Maybe.” A small curl to his lip appeared. “But you’re a grown woman now, a beautiful woman. I can’t say I’m surprised Kaleb fell for you. Although I’m shocked as hell that you fell for a biker. When did a beard and ink appeal to you?”
My cheeks warmed. It was strange talking about my romantic life with Toby. In all my life I never had. It was more strange that he used to be best friends with the man I loved. “It only appeals to me with him. So… you came to help him?”
“Yes. I wasn’t going to pass up the chance. I’d missed the hell out of him. Gotta say I was shocked to see he lived in the next town over from you.”
“It’s crazy that I never saw him before two months ago.” I gazed out the front window, wishing Kaleb would magically appear at the door.
“Storm…” Toby snickered. “His road name fits him.”
“It does. I only call him Storm when others are around. He’s Kaleb to me when it’s just the two of us.” I rubbed my hand over my heart. The ache was increasing the longer I was apart from my man.
He playfully elbowed me. “So, you two are serious?”
“Yes. I’m in love with him. But I’m not sure how he feels about me after all this.” A lump formed in my throat, again. “I don’t want to lose him.”
Toby studied my face for a beat. “Why do you think you’ll lose him?”
“He’s walked away from me before because he said I deserved better. Now he knows I’m Tommy’s little sister. It’s gotta be killing him.” My chest rattled with emotion but I held back the tears. I was tired of crying. “I can’t lose him over this, Toby. I can’t.”
“What do you think you’ll do?”
“Well, he said he needed space and didn’t want me in our room, so I’m going to stay here until he talks to me. God, I hope he wants to work through this.” I twisted my hands together, tossing up a silent prayer. I didn’t want to live without him.
“Isn’t he going to be upset you left the compound?”
I worried my bottom lip, feeling a twinge of nervous flutters in my stomach. Kaleb would be furious I left, but I refused to say in a guest room in the basement.
“That’s his tough shit. He should’ve sucked it up and talked to me. He shouldn’t have kicked me out of our bedroom.” My face heated. How could Kaleb push me away so quickly?
“Damn, Maddy. When did you become a badass?” he teased, probably trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t work, though. I felt utterly lost without Kaleb.
“I’m not really a badass. I’m trying… I’m just so…” I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like my world was falling into a black abyss. Fear paralyzed me.
Toby patted my knee. “It’ll be okay, Maddy.”
“What if it’s not? What if Kaleb shuts me out forever? It’s just the kind of thing he’d do, y’know.”
“I know, sis. Believe me, I know…” He sagged into the sofa and held my hand. He was always so strong, even after losing Tommy and Kaleb on the same day. It broke my heart knowing he had to keep the truth from me all this time. Maybe I could’ve helped him like he was helping me now.