After two hours of drinking and sitting in silence, we returned to the clubhouse. All the partygoers had cleared out. No one saw my wet, weary ass trudging upstairs to my room. Even Sugar wasn’t around. I was confident she’d be back in the morning.
I stripped out of my clothes, leaving them in a wet pile on the bathroom floor. I hung my cut to dry on the hook behind the door. Turning on the water, I stepped into the shower. I washed off quickly, fighting away the memories of when Madeline and I showered together.
Feeling heavy, I toweled off and crawled into bed. My heart hurt something fierce as I crashed on the pillow. I turned on my side and punched the mattress over and over as I smelled her.
Everywhere.
In the air. On my pillow. On the blankets. It was as if Madeline was here with me. My gut twisted as a razor-sharp pain permeated my chest. I felt wholly destroyed. Pathetic. Like a loser.
I sucked in a breath, tossing back the sheet, and sat on the edge of the bed, gripping my head between my hands. I jerked when my cell vibrated on the nightstand.
It was her. She’d already texted a few times, but I hadn’t let myself read them.
But now I was a messed-up motherfucker. A glutton for punishment as I grabbed my phone and opened the messages.
Madeline: Please come back. Nothing will change between us. NOTHING
Madeline: I’m losing my mind. Please come back.
Madeline: Raul said you need space. My heart is shattered. Is it because I’m Toby’s sister? Why should it matter? What we have is real. Don’t throw it away.
Is it because I’m Toby’s sister?
Madeline didn’t know. She didn’t have a clue I was the one who killed Tommy. If she did, she wouldn’t want me. Why hadn’t her family told her?
Nausea hit me with a vengeance. I bolted for the toilet and threw up my guts. When Madeline found out I was the reason Tommy died, she would hate me forever.
I retched again into the porcelain, choking out tears.
My Angel would hate me and she wasn’t ready to find out why.