1 Will
A DUST STORM of images wrecked my mind in Vegas of my last night with Miranda. The love we made to each other had been so raw and desperate and magical. We’d never been so enthralled with each other. Frankly, I was still shocked over how much she gave of herself to me after everything. It had felt like she was trying to win me back. Of course, she never lost me, but she didn’t know that because of the fucking fake affair.
What tormented me most was knowing I destroyed her when I left her crying on the bathroom floor. I hated myself for what I’d done to her. I hated those around me more for putting me in this position in the first place.
I drummed my fingers on the table, biting down on my back molars. I could hear my blood rushing through my head as Cori and Tabitha gushed about the trip. I wanted to gag Cori… Tabitha didn’t bother me as much.
And the man sitting across from me?
If I could only wrap my hands around his skinny neck and slowly squeeze the life out of him, I might feel a smidge better. Not likely though. Every smirk, snicker, or mention of Miranda the last two days had brought me one step closer to committing murder. But I knew it wouldn’t be me having the pleasure of putting his ass in hell where it belonged. Axel had assured me Jason would be taken care of and that I didn’t need to know anything else.
“Maybe we can get in a little shopping before we leave,” Tabitha suggested, lifting her mug to her lips, and sipped her coffee. “What do you guys think?” She turned toward Jason, but as usual, he wasn’t paying attention to her. He never did.Asshole. “Cori?”
“Sure. Sounds fun. Right, babe?” Cori rubbed her hand up and down my bicep, blinking her eyes as she waited for a reply. “Can we do a little shopping after breakfast?”
“Do whatever the hell you want.” My leg bounced at a fierce speed under the table. Any time she touched me, I felt like maggots were eating my flesh. “You have money, right?”
“Why are you being a dickhead this morning?” Jason snapped. “You and Cori have a fight or something? Did she leave you blue balled last night?” He sniggered, lifting his cup to his lips, eyes locked on mine.
I stared him down, imagining what it would feel like to crush his windpipe with my fingers. Draining the life out of him, just like he did to me. Just like he did to Miranda.
“He’s been fighting a migraine. Since dinner yesterday,” Cori interjected. “Try and enjoy the last few hours we have here, babe. We’ll be home soon, then you can rest.” She pecked a kiss on my cheek, and I wanted to hurl.
Would I be able to rest when I got home? No fucking way would Miranda give me another chance, but I foolishly hoped she would. Hope was all I had left.
No amount of music, ringing bells, and bright lights could make me forget the destruction I left in California. Constant flashes of Miranda’s tear-streaked face and swollen, red eyes assaulted me every second since I left her.
Worse than the images were hearing her guttural sobs and desperate words, begging me to stay. If she only knew how fucking much I’d wanted to stay with her. How I didn’t want any of this shit in our lives. That Ionlywanted her.
But I knew I’d pushed her too far when she had lowered the boom while locked in the bathroom. She’d calmed and gave me her ultimatum:If you leave, I won’t be here when you get back.
Fuck, her words repeated in my head on a constant loop the last two days. I’d heard her anguish and resolve.
They had to have been said out of desperation. She wouldn’t really leave me. Not after our night together. Not after we loved each other so completely, so perfectly. We’d fused our hearts and bodies together in one night of passion. Nothing could tear apart what we built, right?
Christ, I was in a fucking denial.
I didn’t want to admit I’d torn apart the beautiful life we had built. I broke Miranda’s heart over and over. Each time worse than the previous. And she stayed with me. She gave me multiple chances because she loved me.
I should have said “fuck no” when I was approached by Abe Santos. I should have refused and instead called a meeting with my dad, grandfather, and York.
But no, I wanted to protect my clients and family and Miranda.
My heart shattered for breaking her because of that bastard. How could anyone come back from such wreckage and heartbreak?
Every cell in my body was on fire and building strength until I finally erupted into a powerful volcanic blast. I squeezed my phone in my grasp, willing it to vibrate, willing Miranda to call me.
Cori’s gaze dropped to my hand, and she sighed. “Can you stay present?” she whispered, her lips touching my earlobe. “Be here with me, please.”
I shook my head, pulling away from her. In my fury, I’d told her what happened Sunday morning, despite Axel telling me to keep my cool. I’d been out of my mind after leaving Miranda. I didn’t give a shit about anything anymore.
Never mind the fact that we still didn’t know what Cori and Abe’s angle was and why they were involved with Jason.
“We’ll be leaving soon. Try to get through breakfast, will you?”
I lifted my mug of crappy coffee and drank it. Shooting her a sidelong glance, I popped a grape into my mouth. That was all I could do to be “present” and get through breakfast.
She placed her hand on my thigh, stroking it as Tabitha leaned toward her. Jesus, I hated her touching me.