“She’s beautiful.” I jiggled her hand. “Hi, princess,” I cooed, the way I did with Cadie, my cousin Gwen’s daughter. I hadn’t warmed up fully to babies, but the more I saw them, the more I wanted one with Autumn.
“Just like her mommy.” Will winked at Miranda. They both turned toward Mia as if admiring her and rightly so. She was absolutely adorable.
As I watched them talk to Mia softly, I felt like I was intruding on their perfect little family. The ache in my chest grew more robust.
“I should be going. I appreciate the talk.”
“Hey, don’t give up. She’ll come around.”
“Are we talking about Autumn?” Miranda looped her arm through Will’s.
“Yes, baby. Seems she’s making Eli bust his ass to prove his love.”
“Gee, thanks.” I shook my head.
“Aww.” Miranda made a pouty face. “I don’t know much about your personal affairs, but Autumn is the sweetest person. Saturday night, you both looked stunning together. And happy when you left.” Her cheeks turned pink.
“Autumn is one in a million. I did her wrong and got what I deserved. I just want another chance.”
“Give her time. We all saw how much you loved each other at SJI’s celebration.”
I nodded, not sure what to say. Miranda was probably just being nice. “Well, I should go. It was good seeing you, Miranda and little Mia.” I jiggled the baby’s hand again. “Will.”
“Take it easy, man.”
I waved and made a quick exit.
Seeing Will and his family was like rubbing salt into my raw, damaged heart. He had what I could’ve had with Autumn had I not rejected her request for a baby.
I strode past Davina’s desk toward the elevator, issuing her a curt nod. Cutting out early sounded good. I needed some time to wallow in self-pity. I hated myself for ruining my marriage and losing Autumn. I’d beaten myself up over it every day since she kicked me out of our apartment.
But now I was here with her and had made love to her. It was a painful reminder of what I’d been without all this time.
It hurt like a bitch.
Yeah, I was done for today. Hopefully, tomorrow would be better.
11
Autumn
THE WEEK WAS nearly over. The general mood on the marketing floor late Friday afternoon was typical. Everyone was chatting about their plans for the weekend. Usually, I’d be all into it too. But I hadn’t seen Eli since our encounter in the supply closet two days ago. I was worried about him.
After he left me, I’d disappeared into the ladies’ lounge and cried in a stall. I felt horrible and ashamed. Not for what we’d done. That was incredibly hot… until I insulted him.
I wasn’t the kind of person who accused another of lying—especially not someone I loved, like Eli. The hurt on his handsome face had gutted me. I knew him better than anyone. If he loved me, he wouldn’t sleep with another woman, even after we divorced. But I just had to open my stupid mouth and question him. The words just fell from my lips because it was unfathomable Eli had gone without sex for more than three years. He had an extremely high libido. We’d always been insatiable together.
God, I felt like a bitch. I needed to apologize.
I just couldn’t bring myself to go to his office. Calling him would be insulting.
Yeah, I was a coward and I couldn’t stand myself right now. Maybe an iced coffee would make me feel better. It would certainly give me something to do, so I wasn’t thinking about Eli.
I entered the large atrium breakroom, where only a few people were milling about. Two of them happened to be Eli and my assistant manager, Cindy. Fresh out of college, perky blonde with a bronze tan and magnificent body, Cindy.
I tried to pretend I didn’t notice them talking, keeping my eyes fixed on the coffee cart. Mandy was working and smiled right away when she saw me.
“Hi, Autumn, what can I get you?”