“That makes her dangerous.”
“Tell me something I don’t already know.”
“You need to fuck her out of your system before you fall for her.”
“Too late. I’ve fallen hard in one night. I’ll fuck up any guy who touches her. Red is mine.”
“Red?”
“I call her Red because I don’t know her real name.”
He belly laughed. “Oh Jesus. She won’t tell you her name and you still want her? She has you by the balls for sure, buddy.” Chris laughed his ass off. It didn’t bother me though. He didn’t know Red, but I was sure once he met her, he’d understand where I was coming from. “So, what are you going to do?”
“After work I’m going to her place to sort this shit out. I don’t exactly know what I want to happen with us. All I know is I want Red.”
“Well, good luck because it sounds like she isn’t going to be an easy catch.”
“You’re right about that.” But Red was worth catching. The only problem I saw was what to do with her after I caught her.
“Does this Red chick mean you’re turning in your ladies’ man card? You looking to settle down with a wife, kids, and white picket fence?”
“Fuck no. That’s not what this means at all. Red is just someone who I’m slightly enamored with. I’m sure it will fade.”
Chris considered me a long second. His critical eye made me uncomfortable. “Nah, the only time dudes like us chase a woman is because she’s the one. Fuck, man, I think I hear ‘Taps’ playing.” He lifted his gaze to the sky and saluted.Asshole.
I laughed, shoving his arm. “Screw you. I’m not marriage material. You know this. We had shitty childhoods, so kids are also out of the question.”
“Does Red know this? She might want all the things you don’t.”
Fucking A, he was probably right. How did I not think about what Red wanted? Her words came back and steamrolled me.Leo, it’s one thing to take birth control pills or use a condom to prevent pregnancy. It’s entirely different to try to end a pregnancy after the fact. I can’t take it.I don’t believe in it.
Even after I told her I didn’t want kids, she brushed it off like it wasn’t a big deal. Jesus, was she hoping to get pregnant? My stomach soured at the thought.
My last hour at work was the longest of my life. I needed Red to take the fucking morning-after pill. We had so much unprotected sex, she was probably pregnant.
I would be a horrible father. Terrible father. I was the spawn of two selfish, wholly incompetent parents. I couldn’t do that to a kid.
I busted my ass to get home and shower, then broke every traffic law to get to Red’s house in record time. On the way, I swung by a drug store to buy the magic pill that would save me from the biggest mistake of my life.
I should have worn a condom.
I should have pulled out.
Fucking hell, I was getting worked up over this. Luckily, a liquor store was half a block down from the drug store. I needed to take the edge off. Tequila would do the job.
I removed the cap and took a few swigs. Not enough to get me drunk. I just need to calm the fuck down before seeing Red. A little alcohol while driving was a minor offense compared to this epic monstrosity of a fuck-up. I’d done worse things than sip a little liquor from a bottle. I wasn’t proud of them. Some things I never got caught doing. Others got me suspended from school and kicked out of college. I made no bones about it. I wasn’t a saint.
I rolled to a stop in front of Red’s townhouse and turned off my Jeep. I inhaled a deep breath and went to the front door. Calmly I knocked and was greeted by Laney.
“Leo, um, what’re you doing here?”
“I’m here to see Red. I told her I’d stop by after work.”
“Oh.” She twisted her lips.
“Can you get her?”
“If she were here, I would.”