“Touchy.” Hillary rolled her eyes. This was another thing about her I didn’t like. She was judgy and bitchy. “I’m taking off. This scene sucks.”
Good riddance.“Take it easy.” I finished the last bite of my nachos. I was ready to blow this joint too.
Dave appeared. “Can I get you anything else?”
“Do you think I’m a manwhore?” I took money out of my wallet to pay the bill.
Dave screwed up his face. “Where’s this coming from?”
“Just asking. I never really thought about it much. I mean, yeah, I like to have sex with lots of different women, but I show them respect. Is that bad or something?”
Dave shrugged. “You know, I never thought I was a manwhore until April called me one. Remember how I said I wished I could change some things?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, the number of women I slept with is one of them. April loves me, but she wasn’t thrilled about all the women I’d had before her. And honestly, if she’d been with as many men, I might be in prison serving a life sentence.” Dave shook his head. “I just never thought I’d fall in love.”
The thought of some other dude getting Red’s V-card put murderous thoughts in my mind. I didn’t want any guys touching her. But she wasn’t mine, so I had no place to complain or get mental.
“Same. I don’t think I’ll fall in love either.” Again, Red flashed before my eyes. Why didn’t I stay with her?
“We never do, but if a woman comes into your life and you find it hard to breathe without her, all those women you boinked just might haunt you later.”
Shit, they were already haunting me when Red didn’t even want me. She didn’t even give me a chance. It hurt like a bitch too. I never wanted a chance before as much as I did with her.
“Good talk. I’m out.” I threw my hand up to Seth and left the money on the counter.
“Later, dude.”
Damn, I needed to get out of here. I left quickly to avoid running into anyone I knew. My house wasn’t far, only a few blocks away.
I loved Santa Monica. Hell, anywhere on the coast of California was supreme. Give me beaches and waves; they were all I needed.
I had a weird niggling in my chest. It had Red’s name all over it.
Was I living my best life? One worthy of her?
Wait, what?
It wasn’t like I’d been doing anything wrong before her. The women I’d been with were consenting adults. Hell, they pursued me. Asked to take me home and peeled down my swim trunks.
So what if I didn’t want a steady girlfriend or to get married and have a family? It didn’t make me a bad person. I paid my taxes, rescued people from drowning, and visited my mom on Mother’s Day. Even though she hardly appreciated the gesture, I still brought her flowers and took her to brunch like a good son.
I lived a stellar, somewhat privileged life. If I liked to take joy in pleasuring a woman and receiving the same, who the fuck cared?
Jesus, why was I thinking about this? I was happy. Free to live any way I chose.
And Red didn’t want me.
I parked in my driveway and trotted up to the front door, unlocked it, and punched in the code for my security system. I kicked the door closed and was engulfed by quiet.
Too much quiet.
The sun was dipping lower as the day neared its end. Out of the wall of windows in my living room, I stared at my six-million-dollar view. The sight of the shimmering ocean didn’t calm me. It only increased my restlessness.
If I didn’t decide what I was going to do and fast, it would be too late. I checked the time on my phone. It was a little after seven o’clock.
Everything in me said to go back to Red’s. But first, a shower. Then I would drive the hour back to her house and somehow convince her to… to what?