I whirled on her. “You don’t know shit about me. And the frustrating part is, I wanted you to know me.” Where the fuck was this crap coming from? This woman was making me insane. Insane.
“Why would I want to if it was supposed to be a one-night stand? Getting emotions involved doesn’t seem like a good idea when meaningless sex is involved.”
Oh, she infuriated me. “Maybe I didn’t want meaningless sex, huh? Did you ever think about that?” Wait, what?Zip your fucking lip, Leo.
She stepped in front of me and craned her neck, connecting her gaze to mine. “Why would I? You’re Lifeguard Leo. Your reputation precedes you.”
Wow, her words slashed me open. But how could I be angry when it was the truth? Or it had been the truth until a few months ago. I never wanted a real relationship. Hell, I never met a woman I wanted to know the real me. So I’d kept on doing what I enjoyed. Now it was biting me in the ass.
Why was I even bothering with her?
“I’m sorry.” Her green depths were glossy. “I was being a bitch. That’s not me. It’s just been a horrible day.” She went to turn away and I grabbed her and reeled her into me.
“Let me take you home.”
She stared into my eyes a long second. “Okay. But no funny business.”
“Deal.”
An hour later, I parked my Jeep outside of Red’s townhouse. Other than giving me directions, she didn’t talk and had insisted I keep the radio on. I was failing miserably with this woman. It fucking pissed me off.
Red lived in an older complex, but it was clean and maintained. The cost of housing in Southern California was ridiculous with its inflated prices. My father became a wealthy man in real estate because of it. I was sure the rent for this place was over three grand per month—highway robbery.
I felt a little guilty about my beach house in Santa Monica. I never took women there. It’d been my experience that most were only after my money once they saw my multi-million-dollar home. To avoid gold diggers, I insisted we go to their place. It made hooking up easier. Then I could just dash off afterward. No harm, no foul.
I also never spent the night after fucking. Why complicate things?
“Thanks for the ride. It’s a bit out of the way, but any closer to the coast, the rent is crazy high.” She stared out her window. “I appreciate what you did for me today. You’re terrific at your job.” She reached for the door handle.
“Red?”
“Don’t. Please.” She dropped something in her seat as she exited my Jeep and ran to her door. I dropped my gaze. A twenty dollar bill was folded in half.
“Fuck,” I growled. She wouldn’t let me do anything for her. Not buy her lunch or dinner. Not even drive her home without giving me money. It had to be my beat-up yellow Jeep and my job making her think I couldn’t afford food or gas. Christ, it enraged me.
This woman had me all tied up in knots with her vulnerability and sweetness. She was authentic.
And her kisses were addictive. I couldn’t get enough. I desperately wanted to be with her. But then what? My parents were divorced. I didn’t believe in marriage, and I had a feeling Red did.
And kids? I was an only child who grew up in private and boarding schools. I spent most of my life on my own. Being a father, responsible for someone else’s life, never appealed to me. Hell, I was terrified of screwing up an innocent child who never asked to be born, much like myself.
Fuck it. I didn’t deserve Red anyway. She was a virgin, and I… would only dirty her up.
I pulled the Jeep away from the curb and forced myself not to look at her place. It might hurt like a bitch to walk away from her, but it was for the best… for her.
With that thought, I headed back to Santa Monica. I had a craving for loaded nachos and a beer. Going home to an empty house was the last thing I wanted to do.
The whole drive back, Red was on my mind. It put my mood in the gutter, but I pulled myself together and entered the bar with a smile plastered on my face. I loved the vibe in this joint. Reggae music played, and bright colors were everywhere. It was like being inside a giant grass hut.
People were happily shooting the shit and laughing. I couldn’t help but feel at home in this place. It was why I came here a couple of times a week, to feel joy rather than emptiness.
“Leo, my man. What can I get you?”
“What’s up, Dave? The usual IPA.”
“You got it. Another successful day in Bachelorville?”
I grinned, scratching the side of my face like the Godfather. “Eh, you know… I do all right.” Why the fuck was I lying? I never scored with Red. Jesus, I was an asshole. A miserable fuck if I was being honest with myself.