No. It was never over.
13
Jessica
As the El Camino pulled away, the rumbling engine fading into the night, I felt utterly and completely alone.
Everything had happened so fast. When I’d rushed between Alex and Jason, it had been impulsive, instinctual. It didn’t even register when Alex put his hands on me. I was filled with too much adrenaline to really consider the consequences of what I was doing.
But now that it was over, reality hit me hard. I’d had broken glass shoved in my face and I could still feel the tight grip of Alex’s fingers on my throat. He’d dared to put his hands on me, to threatenme!
And the people who’d stepped up to defend me weren’t even those I called friends. My “friends” had only watched.
But Vincent and Manson, Jason…even Lucas…They’d defended me. Instantly, without hesitation, all of them.
I should have gone with them.
Then I remembered Lucas’s words and my anger reared back. He’d made me so damn mad — calling me hypocrite, claiming I only wanted attention. And he’d done it all while proving how desperate I was, how quickly I gave in the moment no one was watching.
It was humiliating, and to make it even worse, he’d been sosmugabout it all. Like he had me all figured out, as if he knew me better than I knew myself.
You need someone to punish you properly,he’d said, as if I was a bratty child. The fucking nerve. I didn’t need punishment from him. Or any of them. Or at all. I didn’t need anyone looking after me.
I could take care of myself, and that started with me whirling around and marching back toward Alex in a fury.
“Howfucking dare youput your hands on me!” I yelled, shoving my hands as hard as I could against his chest. He took one stumbling step back, his eyes narrowing into a dangerous glare that would have made a smarter person back down.
But I didn’t. All this fury needed somewhere to go, and the more I thought about what had just happened, the more wildly unacceptable it felt.
“It’s your own fault,” Alex said. “What the hell did you think you were doing? Next time, stay out of my way.” He took a step toward me but I didn’t back down. If he wanted to get physical, I gladly would. His ridiculous macho act didn’t scare me. But my head swam, all the alcohol in my veins reminding me that this was mostly my liquid courage talking. Or liquid foolishness.
People around us were clearly uncomfortable, but no one else said a word. They were trying to watch while keeping their eyes averted, as if they thought that if they didn’t look directly at our confrontation, then they weren’t responsible for stepping in.
“Jessica!” Danielle called me sharply. As much as I loathed letting Alex feel like he was the victor here, I turned away from him and trudged back toward the girls. Alex could have his tantrum, but I wasn’t going to forgive him for this. Drunk or not, there was no excuse.
“Girl, what is going on?” Danielle said as I rejoined her and Candace. “Why would you get in the middle of that? Alex ispissed.”
“You should have let them fight it out.” Candace shook her head, taking a long drink to finish off her wine cooler.
Danielle’s lips were pursed as she looked at me. I could see her mind turning, and I didn’t like it one bit.
“Why did you ride with him?” she said, accusation slipping into her voice.
Sipping my drink, I simply shrugged. Okay, it wasn’t really a sip — I gulped it greedily, desperately. “Sounded like fun. Is there a problem with that?”
The nastiness in her expression grew as I stared at her. Candace’s eyes darted between us, although she didn’t dare to say a word. For a moment, I thought Danielle would let it go.
But then her lips twisted into something like a smile and she said, “I just think it’s funny how last time you were having a littlefunwith Manson, and this time it’s a little fun with Lucas. Which one is next, Jess?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see people staring. Alex was pacing as he waited for his tow truck to arrive, swearing up and down that he was going to “make them pay.” There was a pool of oil slowly spreading around the Hellcat, and I overheard someone say that he’d shifted into third gear when he’d meant to shift to fifth, blowing his transmission.
It was his own damn fault, but he was still determined to pin the blame elsewhere.
“Shut up, Danielle,” I said. “Fucking drop it.”
People were departing now that the race was over. But Veronica was still here, and she was talking to Alex now. Her gaze kept darting over to me, as if she was waiting to see what I would do. She nodded sympathetically to Alex’s raging, clasping his arm in an overly friendly way. She’d found her next target already.
My face reddened, my skin heating. Is that how Lucas saw me?Hopping from one person to the next in desperate search of attention? Taking a deep breath, I tried to force myself to sober up enough to drive home. But my head was buzzing and I didn’t feel comfortable getting behind the wheel yet.