“Yes. It was…” A shadow passed over his face. “It was because of my father I learned to appreciate the varied taste of food and started eating properly. He would invite chefs and cooks from all over to tempt my palate, and I was not interested. I was about eight years of age when he sat with me and tried to get me to eat a mince patty. He made the most ridiculous sounds and faces to tempt me.”
Phineas laughed, the sound was low and rich with fond humor. “My mother was laughing by the time he had finishedoohingandahhingand making some very ridiculous pleasure sounds and expressions to imply the food was tasty. I wanted to please his efforts, so I ate the mince pie and found it delicious. I was allowed at the adult table, and each night, he would tempt me with a new dish until it became…it became our bond,” he ended gruffly.
A sweet pang of emotion pierced her chest. “You miss him.”
“Aye, that I do. Father has been gone ten years, and we all miss him greatly. Especially my mother and nanna. Grandmother took it especially hard and fell into a deep melancholy and cried for her son for months. It is one reason I dote on that old biddy so much. I saw my mother’s indomitable strength in those months. Though she grieved, she had to shoulder four children and nanna’s emotional pain and burden. She never faltered once, but in the evening, I would see her in the gardens drinking and crying and speaking to him as if he were still here. She would tell him how much she loved and missed him and updated father on how each of his children carried on with their lives. Father was a man I admired, loved, and respected. I have always wanted to be a father like him.”
A pang went through her at the thought of Phineas having children in the future. His wife would most certainly be beautiful. “I believe you will make an incredible father,” she murmured.
“I believe it,” he said with an arrogant lift of his head. “I am great with Oskar. I am even thinking of finding him a mate soon. Likewise to you, Felicity, you will make a wonderful and unconventional mother.”
Though she drew in a breath of gratification, Felicity made no reply, and the earl frowned.
“You do not believe you will have children,” he said slowly, lowering his wine and leaning against the tree trunk. “Why?”
“Perhaps I do not wish for it.”
“Do not lie to me.”
Her breath caught. “I do not have a bevy of suitors lining up to call upon me, my lord. I am soon to be six and twenty. I am already a spinster on the shelf with little prospects. I am not saddened, so there is no need to pity me. I have different hopes and dreams that are more attainable. With the money earned from pretending to be your ‘Jane,’ I might be able to invest into profitable ventures, rent a modest but comfortable cottage by the seaside for my mother and me, and improve a bit on our wardrobe. I might even travel a bit!”
“You are not a woman to be pitied, and it never occurred to me,” he said. “You are sweet and lovely and kind and daring. You should have all that you dream of.”
She chuckled as a realization slivered through her.
“A shilling for your thoughts, Felicity,” he murmured.
“I only realized you gave me no good wishes to find a husband, just as I gave you none to find a wife.”
His lips quirked. “I confess it is beyond my capabilities to imagine you in the arms and life of another gentleman, much less wish it.”
They shared an intimate smile, and a curl of want went through her. A sensation she felt mirrored in the blue gaze that had stilled upon her.
“Why are you staring at me so, Felicity?”
“I think I must return inside soon. I have lengthy preparations to make.”
A brow lifted. “Such as?”
“Washing my hair, bathing in scented water, and waiting for you to sneak into my chamber when the household settles.” Her heart was a pounding mess, and her knees were weak, but she held his gaze, gripping the edges of the blanket as if her life depended on it.
Phineas laughed, the sound low, husky, and very devilish. “Sneak?” he drawled. “Earls do not sneak about in their own mansions. I will arrive like a conquering villain to claim my woman.”
She laughed, entirely charmed and bemused by him. Felicity lifted a hand and cupped his jaw. They both froze at the intimacy, and he turned his head to kiss the center of her palm. A darkly mysterious and carnal smile curved his mouth. “Night one.”
“However you come,” she whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I will be waiting for you.”
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
Felicity dropped back against the bed with a groan. Perhaps their coming together should have been spontaneous like that night amongst the trees. Waiting on Phineas to come into her room filled her with too much rioting nerves. Her belly felt tight, her skin sensitized. After washing her hair and brushing until it shone, very much like a bride preparing for her husband’s visit, she had soaked in a long bath and then dressed in a rather ugly cotton nightgown. That could not be helped as it was the least worn one she owned.
She had conveyed her regrets about missing dinner with the family and had tried to read. Felicity was tempted to pilfer a few glasses of sherry for liquid courage but at the last minute recalled how wild she got when intoxicated. Somehow she fell asleep, and the opening of her door roused her sometime later. A fire burned brightly in the hearth, informing her the maid had entered and stirred the logs.
Phineas entered dressed in a dark silk banyan, his dark hair damp from a recent bath, holding a decanter of amber liquid and two glasses. A nervous breathwhooshedfrom her, and she sat up in the center of the bed and watched as he padded over to the small table by the windows and set them down.
When he faced her, there was a distinctly sensual expression on his face. She wetted her lips, a nervous gesture, and his gaze traced the movement. He made no overt motions, yet her senses felt assaulted with anticipation. She quivered and pushed from the bed, leaning against the post as she watched him. They did not talk, or even greet each other. And that felt right.
He loosened the belt of his banyan and shrugged it from his body.