Her throat closed on the words and her sister squeezed her hand.
“Ellie, what your family wants is for you to behappy. You are not this person our grandaunt wants you to be. Marrying a man you do not love, I daresay you will regret it, Ellie. Please think about yourself in this very important matter.”
Lizzy hugged her and Ellie returned her sister’s embrace, aware of the tears coursing down her cheeks, and the doubts still twisting her heart in a tangled mess.
That nightshe didn’t show up. Or the night after. Or the next time. The next day, however, a letter came, and aware of the eyes of his siblings upon him, Lucien ensured his expression inscrutable as he opened it.
Dearest Lucien,
It took me a few days to find the courage to write this letter. Mr. Hayford has made an offer of marriage for my hand. I could not in good conscience come to you that night, knowing of what had transpired earlier. My sense of honor would not allow it. It hurts my heart to write this, but we had both known our tendre would not have lasted beyond the season. I thank you for the wonderful time you have shown me. I will treasure each memory always. I will never forget you and what we shared.
Your friend,
Elle
Each word felt like merciless stabs to his gut. Lucien had logically known their ending would not be what he wanted, but he had not anticipated feeling this deep sense of loss and pain. It had been a mistake to touch her, to taste her skin, and to make love with her…and to fall in love with a woman he had known from the beginning would never be his. Yet the very notion of truly losing her settled against his heart like a boulder.How can I let you go?Lucien closed his eyes.You were never really mine, were you, Elle?
He held out the letter to the candle on his desk, but his sister grabbed the letter before the flames could start destroying it.
“Vi,” he began warningly.
“Oh, Luc,” she cried. “I am so sorry.”
He had nothing to say to that. Edmond and Ollie came over, and both read the letter. Lucien braced himself for his older brother’s derision and ‘I damn well told you so’ speech.
“It is what it is,” he said icily, opening the ledger and turning his attention to the numbers in the next column. He wrapped the chaotic emotions stirring inside in a layer of ice, burying the disappointment.
“Why should it be over?” Edmond asked, surprising him.
Lucien looked up and leaned back in his chair, closing the ledger. “I never expected to hear that from you.”
“I never expected to see you so happy as you have been these last several days,” his brother countered. “I also followed you one night.”
“What?” Lucien snapped. “What the hell do you mean?”
“I followed you to Lady Cantrell’s ball. I thought you were making a damn fool of yourself, and I left this club determined to talk sense into you,” Edmond said gruffly. “I followed you to the gardens and watched as you stood at the terrace door, bloody well alone staring inside at one of the most enchanting women I have ever seen. She was dancing with another and smiling up at him. And you…damn you, you stared at her with such naked longing I was embarrassed to bloody witness it. I decided then it was her I would warn away, for you were already a damn fool in love.”
Edmond raked his fingers through his dark hair. “I determined to wait for the right moment to speak with her. It was easy to slip inside the crush, and I watched her dance with several gentlemen. Then she discreetly made her way from that ballroom out into the gardens. I followed her. Then she saw you. She became incandescent, Lucien. The brilliance of her smile and the way she laughed and ran to you rooted me to the ground. She dashed herself into your arms. You lifted her and twirled her around. You both looked…her longing equaled yours, brother. I never thought I would see such honest emotions from a…” With a grimace, he looked away. “If you take note, your lady said she received an offer. Not that she accepted it.”
Edmond walked away, sat behind his desk and returned to his work. Lucien took the letter Vi held out to him. His sister was smiling, and even Ollie stared at him with this air of anticipation.
“She did not say she accepted the offer,” Lucien said slowly.
“No,” Vi answered softly.
“That might not mean anything,” he said, conscious of how his heart pounded and the damnable hope to worm its way through it. “She said what we must end.”
“Will you allow it to end?” Vi asked before walking away to her desk.
Lucien got up and sauntered over to the windows overlooking the streets. The sun was lowering in the sky, and fog rolled in. Outside seemed cold and lonely, a shadow of what crept inside his heart. He had to see Elle one more time, even though he felt it might not make a difference to anything inside.
Lady Chambers’ball was a crush. It seemed to Eleanor the polite world was crammed into the wide-open ballroom. She had attended the ball with the dowager countess, her mother, Colin and Hermina, and Lizzy, Emma, and Ester had also come. Their grandaunt was very displeased that she had delayed accepting Mr. Hayford’s offer and seemed to be aware of his plan to announce an engagement tonight after dancing with her.
A thrill of sudden, intense excitement cascaded over her body, and Ellie knew Lucien was nearby. Her fingers reflexively clenching over the champagne glass, she scanned the crowd and found him on the upper bowers staring down at her. Her cheeks heated, and she swallowed a gasp. Should anyone see how he stared at her, surely they would know they had an intimate connection.
Determined not to look in his direction, Ellie tried to smile and be a part of the frivolity. However, she could not dismiss him from her awareness. She looked up and their gazes collided. The naked longing in his stare made her tremble, and her heart reached for him.
I love you, that look said,with my whole being.