Eleanor’s throat closed. She had daringly exchanged several letters with Lucien for the past week and greatly anticipated their arrival. Eleanor felt as if she fell into something greater than herself with each note read. At times the feelings left her confused and scared. Other times a heady sense of excitement and anticipation would fill her entire body. Lady Prescott’s ball was tomorrow evening, and a sense of breathless want gripped her. To dance with Lucien again, in secret intimacy.
Would you kiss me again?
Closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead against the cool pane of the window. “And what would I do should you kiss me again?” she whispered. “Lean into you or run?”
That she did not have the answer should have petrified Eleanor. To her surprise, the butler returned with a bemused countenance. “Yes, Orwell?”
“Another letter came for you, Miss Eleanor.”
“Thank you, Orwell,” she said with a smile. “Has the dowager countess arrived?”
“Not as yet, Miss Eleanor.”
“Thank you.”
When he shuffled out, she hurriedly read the letter.
Dearest Eleanor,
Her heart stuttered at the intimate use of her name and greeting. She glanced around, quite aware of the heat rising in her cheeks.
I wanted to be honest in my reason for asking you to dance again. It struck me rather forcibly that you might doubt my reason or be afraid of it. Whichever it is, I want you to know unquestionably why I want to see you again.
I long for you.
The letter dropped from her hand as if it had caught flame and singed her fingertips. “Good heavens, Lucien! Whatever are you thinking?” she cried softly as an odd sort of panic fluttered in her breast.
Eleanor admitted she was afraid to read the rest of his letter, afraid they would speak to the chaotic cravings she felt for him. Shockingly, she felt starved for a sight of him. Her pulse pounded in her throat, and she stooped and plucked up the piece of paper. She went to the sofa and sat, staring at the rest of his words.
Since meeting you, I understand what it is to yearn. To see a smile, to hear a voice, to hold another close and dance under the stars. I do not want to hide from you what I am feeling. I do not want you caught off guard by the hunger I have to taste you again. I want you to know. I long for you.
Always yours,
Lucien.
For untold seconds, she sat still. Just breathing, feeling the pounding of her heart throughout her entire body. Feeling the unbearable desire of wanting what he wanted…to dance…to be held close and kissed again.
The door to the library opened, and she twisted around to see Hermina strolling inside. Eleanor had forgotten they would meet for a lesson in a few minutes. Taking a deep breath, she said, “Please forgive me. I am not able to attend our lessons today.”
Her sister-in-law’s gray eyes widened slightly. “You appear flushed. Are you feeling unwell, Ellie?”
She stood, discreetly tucking the letter away. “I am fine. There is simply a matter of importance that I must attend. If you will excuse me.”
Hermina arched a brow. “Are you leaving the house?”
“Yes, I am…I must visit the circulating library.” She needed to be away from the chaos to think…to breathe…to understand the desires coursing through her veins.
Hermina smiled. “That is your matter of great importance, hmm?”
Eleanor grinned sheepishly. “I could think of no other excuse at the moment. My sisters always tease that I am a poor liar.”
“So, you are lying?”
She chuckled. “It is what us ladies confined to ridiculous strictures must do when we want to act in our own self-interest even for a moment. I admit it is more of a matter of something slightly scandalous.”
Hermina groaned and dropped herself on the sofa. “Please, spare me the details. That way, I can be just as surprised as your brother when he finds out.”
“It is notthatserious. I merely wanted to think without a moment’s distractions,” Ellie said with a small smile even though her heart beat a frantic tattoo against her breastbone.