Chapter Sixteen
Frederica sobbed as the hackney pulled away. Matthew put his arm around her and tried to comfort her, but the tears would not stop. Matthew handed her a large handkerchief and soon it was soaked as Freddie tried to stem the tide, like the boy with the dyke. She could picture herself as if seen from outside and realized she was making a cake of herself. “Frederica,” she told herself, “No man is worth crying over,” something her friends at 48 Berkeley Square had often said but she had never really considered seriously. She tried to pull herself together but the thought of living her life without Percy was so desolate her entire body hurt.
“I love him so much Matthew! Life seems so pointless without him.” She examined her gloved hands, which were clasped in her lap. “ I am being a wet weekend, I thought I was stronger than this and that I could cope with everything life threw at me. I thought he was beginning to love me a little, but I was fooling myself because I loved him so deeply. How could he say we have no love between us? How could I have fallen for a man who cares so little for my feelings?”
A slight frown marred her brother’s features. “You’ll find a better man, Freddie, you deserve everything the world can give. But I am here now, and I will look after you, everything will be fine now we are together again.”
She nodded, leaning her head against the squabs. Somehow she could not stop thinking about the look of agony in Percy’s eyes. As if it had tormented him at the thought of her leaving. As if…as if he had felt something far more for her than he had left on.
Good heavens.
“I think I made a mistake Matthew. I think we should turn around and go back.”
“Why?”
“I never really told him how I felt about him. I had been teasing him, that I was in love with another man, although I wasn’t. I suppose I wanted to make him jealous and shock him into declaring his feeling for me. It was a silly idea and the only time I did tell him; he was so foxed that I am not sure he understood or heard what I said. I think I need to tell him why I can never see him again if only so I can see the look on his face as he despises me for my foolishness. I don’t want to let it all end this way, if just feels wrong…”
“It’s all my fault, Freddie, I should never have left you with a man I thought my friend, even though I knew he was a depraved rake. If only things had not turned out like they had, you would never have thought yourself in love with him. But I can see no point in going back, we will be enough for each other and have no need of the likes of Percival Deveraux!”
Frederica shook her head, even more certain that she should turn back. “I should have been totally honest with him. I should not have tried to trick him into loving and wanting me. I should not have been afraid to stand up and tell him the truth. I need to do that, tell the driver to turn the cab around, we must go back now. I must see Percy again and tell him how I feel!”
Matthew stared through the small back window, “There’s no need for that, that damned fool Percy is chasing after us…”
She looked at him with an expression of incredulity. “He is chasing the carriage?”
“Yes.”
“The marquess?”
“Yes.”
“Chasing the carriage?” she asked again, sounding like a parrot.
Some measure of amusement lit in her brother’s eyes. “ For about three minutes now. I am impressed at his fitness and determination.”
Their carriage slowed, and the door was wrenched open, startling her. Percy hopped up into the carriage and sat before her, ignoring her brother who glared at him.
“Do you love me, Freddie?”
His expression stilled and grew serious. “Do not answer that.”
Her heart twisted inside her chest. “Percy—”
“I do not want you to answer, Sprite, because what you say should have no bearing on what I say.” He took her hand in between his. “A better man, one who is honorable might be able to let you go to be happy with another man. For a long time, I bloody tried to convince myself all I will be fine only you are happy with Lord Thomas or whoever you love. But I am a selfish, dissolute cad that would prefer to steal you away that see you with another man.”
She gasped and smiled, only to sober when her brother muttered, “not yet, Freddie, let him get it all out before you make a cake of yourself.”
At that sage advice, Frederica kept her features deceptively composed though she wanted to hug the man before her and screamed her happiness. Percy lowered her hands and shifted so close their knees brushed. “I love you, Frederica.”
Frederica stopped breathing altogether. “Say it again, Percy.”
He skimmed his fingers over her cheek. “More than how I have ever love anything or anyone in this life, and I swear I will love you from this lifetime to the next. I was a fool indeed, a fine fool to not see that it was me whom you love. And I am damn glad you used all your wits and wiles to show me the error of my foolhardy. Please, I beg of you, consent to be my wife…my marchioness and my lover.”
The door shoved open, and her brother exited the equipage and closed it behind him. Frederica did not look away from Percy. The gleam in his eyes beckoned her irresistibly and she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his.
“I love you so much. I should have told you from the beginning,” she whispered.
“Damn fool that I am, I would have likely run.”
He hauled her into his lap, and she giggled. Percy swallowed the sound in a kiss rife with tenderness and such love tears sprang to her eyes.
“Say you will marry me,” he murmured against her mouth.
“Yes,” she said, smiling. “I will marry you. I love you so much.”
Then they kissed for a very long time.