Chapter 9
That was the first memory to ever come to Simon while he had been awake. He jerked his head to the side and looked at Fanny. Though she still lazily skipped another stone, a frown creased her brows. Simon suspected something weighed heavily on her mind. He recognized a certain familiarity with her moods and acknowledged that it meant they had more than a casual friendship. “What is wrong?” he asked.
The stone in her hand paused in mid-throw. “What did the doctors say about your chances of regaining your full memory?”
“It might never be recovered.”
A shudder went through her. “An idea that is petrifying.”
“I have learned to accept it,” he said gruffly.
Curiosity sparked in her eyes. “Have you?”
“I admit there are days I stand by my windows and wonder what I’ve missed. But it no longer haunts me. I’ve made my peace with it.”
She lowered her hand and released the stone. “And I have disturbed your peace.”
“In a good way,” he admitted. “I was getting a bit bored with town and balls.”
“So my wicked scheme has added pleasure to your life?”
“In its own way.”
Standing beside her suddenly felt right. Simon blew out a harsh breath. “I will return in a few hours.”
A shadow touched her eyes.
“Do you believe I will not return?” he demanded with a touch of impatience.
“You are a man of honor. That is not what I worry about. I…it only just occurred to me you might never remember me. Remember us. There was a rather silly part of me that believed once you were here with me, in this place where we fell…that it would all come tumbling back. You look at me as if I am a stranger, one who amuses you, and there is not much more.”
“You are frightened,” he said on a flash of insight.
Heartbreaking vulnerability settled on her face. “Terribly so.”
He took a careful step toward her. “Why?”
“I cannot bear the idea of losing you again. I cannot bear the idea you…you might never remember me.”
The strength it took for her to show such emotions before him rocked him back on his heels. “We can retain a connection, Fanny. I recall your brother Colin and that we had a friendship between us. That I do not remember you does not mean all is lost. We can rebuild.”
A tear sparkled on her incredibly long lashes, and her mouth smiled. “I do not want your friendship, Simon. Let me amend that; I do not only want your friendship.”
His mind went to the kiss he had been trying to forget. Heat curled through his body. I am to marry, he wanted to say, but the words would not pass his lips. “What do you mean to accomplish in the seven days.”
She met his regard steadily, bright spots on her cheek. “I mean for you to love me.”
Hell. “Fanny…”
“I am not afraid or ashamed to admit it, Simon.”
No…you are not. Another aspect of her character revealed itself, and admiration welled within him.
“Travel safely. The woods can be a bit slippery after a night of rain.”
Guilt sank its claws into him. He brushed it aside, knowing it was misplaced. Yet everything inside of him wanted to wipe away that mournful look in her eyes. She strolled away, perhaps toward the river that also fed the lake. How proud and alone she appeared. Simon felt as if he should continue toward his estate, but his feet would not move. He walked after her for several minutes until he discovered her sitting on a large boulder by the river. She held something in her hand, and as he moved closer, he saw that it was a letter. He must have made some sound, for her head snapped up, and her eyes widened. She hurriedly stood and thrust her hand behind her back.
“I thought you had left for Kellits Hall.”