“Charity—”
“Your lover,” she said, fighting the urge to cry. “And your friend. I have no need for your money and whatever financial comforts a mistress normally gleans from attaching herself to a gentleman like yourself.”
They stared at each other, and in his eyes, she saw the primal longing to take her into his arms. Yet he fought against the need.
“I want to keep kissing you, holding you in my arms when you sleep. I never knew having a woman’s weight on my chest, your weight would be so comforting and…just right. I have this need confounding me to hear your laugh. I found myself listening for it echoing in the hallway today, and when I looked around, you were not there. I like our conversations. I want to have many more as we get to know each other.
Hope burned brightly inside her chest. “I want that too.”
“However, we can only keep having that once we are married.”
She wrinkled her nose in exasperation. “We do not have to marry to have what you just said.”
“You’ll be my mistress but not my wife?” he asked with a coolly arched brow.
“Your lover. There is a marked difference, my lord.” At his silence, she asked, “Why did you come out here?”
“I did not want you waiting in vain.”
She flinched, his murmured words cutting right to the heart of her. Unexpectedly she also felt far beyond mortified. “It was not needed. I had only planned to wait a few minutes.”
“Please allow me to escort you inside,” he said quietly.
“There is no need,” she said brightly, hoping to mask the uncertain turmoil she felt. “Good night, Ethan!”
Charity hurried down the steps, trying to walk with some decorum. As she rounded the corner, she broke into a run and did not stop until she reached inside her guest chamber. It was as she snuggled down underneath the coverlets that she realized her cheeks were damp with tears.
* * *
Ethan could not sayhow long he had been in the library for before the door opened, and his sister sauntered in, a kitten curled contentedly in her arms. He did not remove his attention from the lake in the far distance, thinking of when he had last seen Lady Charity standing right there. His sister sat on the sofa closest to him in a winged chair by the fire, the contented purring of the kitten filling the air.
“Have you seen the scandal sheets of late?” she asked a tad too brightly.
“I am not interested in scandals, Jenna.”
“Well, this one mentioned Charity. Since she left us only five days ago, she’s already making waves in town.”
His gut tightened, but he showed no reaction. “It is to be expected. She is a popular lady.”
“Nothing of the sort,” Jenna said. “Several weeks past, some referred to her as a wallflower and unmarriageable because of her age.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he said flatly. The moniker attached only to unfortunate ladies who were hardly asked to dance or walk out with gentleman. To Ethan’s mind the word could never apply to such a vibrant and lovely lady as Charity. Not that he thought any lady deserved to be apostatized with such a moniker. The members of society could truly be ridiculous.
“Did Charity bid you farewell before she departed?”
His sister was keenly determined to talk about her friend.
“She did.” Ethan did not say it was muffled and through the door, and by the time he had opened the door, the hallway had been empty. Ethan had stood there, reflecting on the tension which had existed since his marriage proposal only the day prior. Her conversations had been more restrained, and when she’d asked, ‘are we still friends, my lord?’ Ethan’s response had been a tight ‘of course, my lady.”
Charity had looked so damned uncertain when she stared at him, yet beneath that doubt, he had seen the soft hunger. She still wanted him, and he damned well still ached for her. Yet, he had determined it was best to allow her to return to London without again speaking about marriage. Perhaps with some time and space, things would become clearer to both of them.
“It seems everyone is wondering about the connection between Charity and Viscount Newsome. According to the scandal sheet, she danced with the man twice in one night. Society was agog with speculation. And if you are wondering, I have the town news sheets on a special delivery here. It can be intolerably boring in the country, and one must have one’s entertainment.”
Ethan directly looked at his sister.
She smiled. “I was beginning to wonder what was so special outside the windows.”
“I was merely lost in thought.”