Expectations had burned brightly in Perdie's eyes. “Please do not take Lady Millicent to task…but…she mentioned that you are the owner and patroness of a most exclusive ladies’ club, and I had so dearly hoped you would allow me to join you.”
Theo had been moved by her earnestness and the hint of unhappiness in her eyes. “At my club, we are a tiny bit scandalous. We partake in daring but such delightful wagers. I teach our girls how to fight…how to defend themselves from unwanted advances, we read scandalously wicked books that men believe we are not equipped to handle, we discuss political tracts, and we even let our hair down.”
Perdita had burst into tears while wearing a wide smile. Theo hadn’t the heart to deny her membership and since then had granted special admittance to three more debutantes. As long as they did not compromise the club's location or details, their membership was more than welcomed.
“I…” Perdie began. She took a deep breath. And another. “I am to be married.”
That Theo had not expected. The young lady was one of her youngest members at nineteen, and she was not about much in society. In truth, Theo had never encountered her at a society ball. The first time they had met was in the British Museum halls, the following occasion a few days later at a circulating library, and then in Hyde Park. Lady Perdie had been alone, save for her companion. Theo had thought it unusual that no footmen accompanied the ladies but had thought perhaps her family might not be so wealthy.
Except the girl’s dress had every appearance of fine quality with no expense spared. Theo hadn’t probed, for she was also intimately familiar with the lengths a family would go to maintain the appearance they are flushed with funds when they were indeed broke and close to bankruptcy. Once, Theo’s mother had chosen to buy a new ball gown for her daughter over purchasing coal for the winter.
“You do not seem overjoyed,” Theo murmured.
“I…Idolove him.”
“I sense a but coming.”
“I love Owen but…but I do not believe I am ready for marriage, Theo. He does not seem inclined to wait, and all he speaks about is our wedding which is to be held in Berkshire in eleven weeks and three days.”
“I suspect you’ve been engaged long?”
At Perdie’s look of inquiry, Theo said, “I’ve heard of no recent announcement on the marriage mart, and I am familiar with the matches made last season.”
The girl sighed gustily. “I’ve known Lord Owen since I was fifteen. I swore I fell giddy in love with him at first sight. And he offered for my hand at seventeen. I thought it so romantic he said he wanted to capture my heart before I debuted on the marriage mart, for he did not want to lose me. My mother was happy with the match, and even my brother…who I believe is awfully hard to appease, seemed pleased. My brother did encourage me to have a season before I spoke of marriage matters, but I was so utterly determined to marry the man I love. I fear I was a little silly to decide on marriage so young. My brother approved the match after I agree to a two-year engagement.”
Theo did not like that Perdie’s tone lacked any sort of excitement. There only lingered the sharpest edge of frustration and disappointment. “How were your expectations dashed?”
The girl’s throat worked on a swallow. “I…I did not need to join the other debutantes on the marriage mart because I had been lucky in love. I did not need a season, and I was quite content with that.”
Perdie stood and started to pace. “I only traveled to London with mama to be fitted for my wedding trousseau. I’ve attended a few balls, I’ve been to the theater, I’ve been to museums, boat rides on the Thames…and inexplicably I woke one morning feeling as if…as if I’ve not lived, but I am getting married. Unexpectedly the walls felt closer, and I could not breathe. I felt…trapped!”
Her voice broke, and she pressed her face into her palms. “Oh, Theo, I’ve been feeling so wretched! I want to do much more before I have children of my own.”
One of the maids arrived with a tea trolley. Theo waved her away and poured a steaming cup for Perdie. “Have you told this to your fiancé?”
Perdie made a sound of abject frustration. “I cannot have a decent conversation with him! All he speaks of his love and how eager he is to start a family.” A frown split her brows, and she said softly, “I do not want to be a mother so soon after marriage. I would like a long honeymoon and perhaps the chance to enjoy a few more seasons or even travel abroad. We are both young. I am nineteen, and he is one and twenty. I believed he would agree with my reasoning, but he is most opposed to the notion. Nothing I say seems to discourage him from pursuing such aims.”
Perdie burst into tears, and Theo hurried to her side and gathered her into her arms. She stayed like that, holding the young girl to her side for several moments.
“Being here has been so wonderful,” she hiccupped. “I…I do not wish to return to the country and marry. At least not yet. And I fear so deeply that he will not want to wait for me. I do not know what to do.”
Theo rubbed the girl’s shoulders. “You should speak to him frankly about the fears in your heart. I know as ladies, we are not encouraged to be direct with our opinions. However, marriage is not a simple matter. It is lifelong, Perdie. It is until death parts you. If you cannot be forthright with your husband, what is the point of it all?”
The girl nodded and appeared a bit calmer. She took a sip of her tea, appearing thoughtful. “And what if he does not listen?”
“From what you said, I gather that your brother dotes on you.”
She bit into her lower lip. “Within reason. He…he is more like a father to me.”
“He is much older than you then?”
“Yes, very much so.”
“Is he uncompromising in his manner?”
The young girl groaned. “He can be, oh Theo, I do not think my brother will agree with me breaking the attachment. The scandal would…it would be horrific, and mama would not forgive me.”
Theo suspected then Perdie’s family might not be so influential in theton, or surely her brother would be able to smooth things over with Lord Owen’s family. Though it would be in his right to sue for breach of promise, the wider society did not seem aware of the engagement. Surely, with some persuasion, they might be able to come to a beneficial agreement.