“Not really,” I said. “It’s almost as if my body just skipped a month.”
“Hmm,” she said. “Can’t say I’ve ever had that happen. I think the most I’ve ever been late by was three weeks, but that was during a very stressful trip to Bali a couple summers ago, so who even knows what was going on with my body at that point.”
“That’s what’s weird,” I said. “I haven’t had any major life changes lately, and I’m not really under that much stress. No more than usual I would say. I haven’t been eating differently or anything. So everything should be normal but it’s just… not.”
“Huh. Have you noticed anything else strange?”
“Not really.”
“Do your boobs hurt?”
I reached up and felt my chest. They were actually a little achy. “Maybe a little. But I did go for a run without a good bra the other day, so that’s probably why they are sore.”
“Do you feel nauseous?”
“No,” I said. “And I know what you’re getting at, but I’m not pregnant. I already told you, I am having my period right now.” She made a tsk sound with her mouth that made me think she was dubious. “What?” I asked her. “What is it you’re thinking?”
“It’s just—I have a friend who had a baby last year, and she told me that she had spotting during her first few months of pregnancy, and it made her think that she was getting her period and not pregnant, and that’s why she didn’t really know until she took a test three months in!”
“That’s ridiculous,” I said. “I’d like to think I’m more in-tune with my body than that.”
“Plenty of women don’t know they are pregnant. Do you use protection when you have sex?”
“No,” I said. “I mean, I’ve just always left that up to the guy.”
Michelle laughed. “Why would you do that? Men can’t be trusted with that sort of thing!”
“All the men I’ve ever slept with have always worn condoms without me even having to ask. I guess I just assumed that was normal.”
“Is that what Matt did?”
“Well, no,” she said. “We didn’t talk about it, but I just assumed he had another form of birth control he was using. Like spermicide or something. I don’t know. Honestly, after having one surprise pregnancy, I think the guy would’ve maybe had a vasectomy or something.”
“Stephanie!” Michelle yelled into the phone. “You can never assume the other person is going to take care of the contraception. You have to have these conversations with peoplebefore you have sex, and if you haven’t been talking about it this whole time, it’s a miracle it took you this long to get pregnant!”
“Gee, thanks. But I’m not pregnant.”
“You might be.”
I sighed. “No. No way. Matt would never be so careless.”
“But you were also being careless,” Michelle pointed out. “And you’re like the least careless person I know, so what makes you think this guy would be so on top of things if you’re not?”
“I—I don’t know.”
“You need to go get a test. Like now.”
“Michelle.”
“What?”
“... I’m scared.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m not going anywhere. Just keep me on the phone, go buy the test, and then I’ll be on the line while you take it.”
I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “Okay,” I said. “Okay. I’m going. Oh God, what if I’m actually pregnant?”
“One step at a time,” she said. “Go buy the test, then we’ll go from there.”