When the door closed behind him, I exhaled loudly and flopped forward, resting my forehead on the table in front of me. I craved being able to rest and maybe take a nap, but Avery wouldn’t let me. This was a hierarchy with Maksim at the top and Avery making certain I understood she would be above me no matter what it took.
“Sit up,” she snapped. “You’re not drunk, are you?”
“No,” I said from my position. “I’m not drunk. I barely even took a sip. I’m tired, okay? So please do me the favor of fucking off.”
“How dare you speak to me like that!” she screeched. “How fucking dare you! Do you think you’re special because Maksim is being forced to marry you? You’re not! You’re trash!”
“I guess that makes you trash, too,” I said, lifting my head off the table. “We’re related, remember?”
She let out a little shriek of frustration and got up, shoved her plate away from her, and said, “Fuck you, Everly. You’ve had everything in your life, and I’ve had nothing!”
She stood up and started to walk away. Her shoulders were shaking and hunched over like she was holding back tears, and I felt that stupid pang of sympathy for her that I’d been trying to shove down.
“Wait!” I called out and stood up. She slowed and stopped and finally turned around. She looked at me and cocked her hip.
It would have been easier to hate her if she didn’t look like me when she did that. I hadn’t seen it before, I had sworn there was no resemblance at all, but every once in a while, I could see myself on her face, and it made things so much more difficult.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. I held out my hands as if to plead for her forgiveness even if I didn’t really feel like I needed it. “I’m sorry I had a better life than yours, but believe me, it wasn’t that great. I had a disgusting pig of a stepfather, I had to fight this thing called The Organization, my mom preferred my little sister, and I’ve barely made it through with my life because of so much shit. It wasn’t all roses on this side of the fence.”
She narrowed her eyes and said, “Good. I’m glad to hear it. That’s the nicest thing you could have said to me, and in fact, I think just to make myself feel even better, I’m going to head downstairs and fuck one of your boyfriends. Sorry, I should say roommates because wives of mafia bosses don’t have boyfriends.”
At that, she gave me a dismissive wave and turned to walk out the door.
As the lock clicked into place, I realized what she had said. Emotions ran through me, and I felt my body tense up with a full-body spasm, like a bolt of energy flashing through me, lighting every cell on fire and sending my nerves screeching into action before my mind had time to catch up.
I was halfway to the door before I screamed at her.
“You fucking bitch! Get back here! You fucking crazy fucking whore!”
I’d never felt anything so powerful, but the mere thought of Avery tormenting my Kings or forcing them to fuck her was enough to send me into the pits of insanity. I wanted to kill her for it. I craved the feel of her face under my fingernails as I clawed her eyes out. I wanted to taste her blood spatter on my tongue as I blew her brains out the back of her head.
White hot rage found me banging at the door, screaming to be set free. I pounded until my fists were filled with shards of pain, and my voice was hoarse from screaming.
Nobody was coming back for me. Nobody cared.
I was trapped in Maksim’s room, alone and left adrift without any connection to my family. Ivan, Amara, my Kings, they were all being kept just out of my reach, and it felt as if I was going to lose my mind without them.
I stumbled back to the table and finished my glass of wine in one long draw. I poured myself another, finished it, and wound up drinking the rest of the bottle because why the fuck not? I had nothing better to do, and I longed for sleep to pull me out of the prison of my own thoughts.
I looked at Maksim’s bed, and while I was sorely tempted by the sumptuous blankets and luxurious bedding, the thought of sleeping in his scent made me sick. Instead, I piled three pillows at the end of a chaise under a window, and I let myself drift away.
I thought I heard Kingston’s voice just before I fell asleep, and I missed them even more.
CHAPTER4
True to his word,Maksim left me alone that night and another night after that as an added bonus.
Avery came back the next morning and oversaw some of the house staff who brought me breakfast and cleaned up from the night before. She also sat and watched as several dressmakers showed up to take my measurements for my bridal gown, and as much as I enjoyed the pain on her face while she watched, the thought of wearing it when I wedded Maksim was too much. I pretended I was somebody else when they had the measuring tape wrapped around me. I pretended I was a boring girl who lived in the woods with her four husbands, and nothing ever happened in their lives.
That was enough for me, a simple, comfortable life with no drama and no danger. I had already lived a hundred lifetimes of danger and horror. I was ready to settle down for the delicious dull bliss of every day being the same as the one before.
“You can go if you’re done,” Avery said as the dressmakers were packing up but still chatting with me like we were old friends. They were giddy, and their excitement was infectious.
I wasn’t able to get into it, though. I wasn’t able to connect with anything that was happening to me.
After they left, Avery tried to upset me by talking about my Kings, but I refused to take the bait. I sat in one of the high-backed armchairs and stared out the window at the grounds below. I longed for escape and fantasized about being one of the gardeners, living that simple life I suddenly craved.