I motioned for the girl to leave, and she did, nodding at me as if she knew what I had done and approved of it, and I felt the thrill of victory.
I didn’t know what I would do with the knife or who I could use it on, but it gave me the confidence I didn’t have moments earlier.
I tucked it into the belt of my pants, under the elastic waist of my panties, and moved in a way to keep it still.
I dropped the food to the floor beside me and focused on the pit now. One guard had the length of chain out and was clipping one end to Ryker’s ankle and the other end to Sergei’s. Ryker was a huge man, broad-shouldered and naturally tall and muscular. But in front of Sergei, he looked like a small man. Sergei was a colossus, whereas Ryker was just a giant.
I held my breath as they forced Sergei and Ryker’s hands together on one side and duct-taped them like that, with half the roll unraveled around their wrists. I didn’t understand the point of this, but Ilya loved it. He clapped, finally leaving Avery’s breast alone, and fist pumped the air as he chortled about Sergei killing the American.
My blood was chilled in fear, and I worried about what kind of advantage Sergei would have being connected like this. Ryker wouldn’t be able to use the smaller-man strategy of speed and agility, for one. For another, he wouldn’t be able to escape the smashing fists of the larger man.
This was bad. I didn’t like it. It felt wrong to me.
I closed my eyes and prayed to whatever god or goddess wanted to look out for us broken things, those of us who were in peril of being torn apart if life stayed on this dark path. I kept them closed as the fight began simply because I couldn’t face what was unfolding in front of me. I couldn’t fathom the horror of losing Ryker or the mind-destroying hell of seeing him destroyed before my eyes.
As the crowd’s cheering reached an intolerable crescendo of chaotic noise, I finally opened my eyes. I found Ryker holding his own, in Ryker’s way. He was dancing at the end of the chain, taunting massive Sergei, tiring the larger man out I could see. But after days of no food and abuse, how long could Ryker hold up?
“It’s a good strategy, but I’m glad it’s not Kingston down there,” Reg said from beside me. He must have shown up when I had my eyes squeezed shut. He wasn’t sitting with Ilya and Maksim. He was crouched on his haunches on the floor with me. “I always liked the kid, and this one always seemed like a scumbag juvie criminal wannabe.”
He nodded towards Ryker, and I felt my throat close with unspoken rage. When I calmed myself, I replied, “He’s an incredible man who loves and supports me. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him.”
“He didn’t fit in with the others. You can’t deny that. He’s an outcast. He’s white trash. The other three are more refined if that’s where you’re looking for a boyfriend. Avoid this punk and go with one of the good ones,” Reg blathered on.
My fingers ached from where I was clenching my fist. My lip stung from where I had continually bitten it or chewed pieces of skin from their surface. My head hurt from the tears I had building up inside, the ones I couldn’t let out. And my body felt tight like I was the coiled springs of a rat trap, ready to explode and kill at the merest provocation. I was just waiting for somebody to give me a reason to lose my mind and let my fighting spirit free. Reg was getting dangerously close to being that person.
“I love him, and I love them all. That’s all that matters,” I replied with my teeth ground together.
“You can’t love all of them,” Reg snorted. “That’s just a stupid idea, something a whore would do, but not a nice girl like you.”
I glanced over at him and examined his face. I couldn’t believe I had looked up to him at one time or that I had desired his approval. He was evil incarnate to me now, the man I’d once taken to school parent-teacher meetings, the man who had taught me to ride a bike.
How had that been the same man who had raped me for The Organization’s amusement? How could he have been there for my first steps, my first day of kindergarten, and my first high school dance and then done those terrible things?
I noticed more grey around his temples now, his dark hair peppering into salt, and the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth gave way his true age.
“You wouldn’t understand. You don’t love anybody but yourself,” I replied and kept my eyes focused on Ryker. It was as if Reg’s voice came through several layers from a great distance. I could barely make out the words, and I chose not to respond.
Ryker was still using his darting and dancing strategy, but his energy was flagging, and he took a punch to the face when he didn’t dart back out of the way fast enough. I gasped and tried to lean forward, but Maksim kept me locked between his knees. He was still on the phone, likely betting hundreds of thousands of dollars on sporting events around the world. He didn’t care much about this fight. He cared more that I was forced to watch one of my loves being beaten to death. And he loved showing off to his father to gain his approval.
He didn’t realize that neither of those things was happening. Ilya still saw him as an incompetent idiot, and no matter what Maksim did to win his love, it would fail. Ilya was locked into some kind of super macho battle with his son, where he would never find anything Maksim did as living up to his standards. He’d labeled Maksim as weak long ago and short of Maksim murdering Ilya to prove his strength. That label would stick.
I gasped again when Sergei landed another punch, this one to the side of Ryker’s head. I could hear the moment his fist connected, even from up here. I saw Ryker fall, but he couldn’t go all the way down because Sergei held him up using the duct-taped wrists. Sergei laughed, an evil sound promising terrible things, and shook Ryker like a dog with a bone.
Ryker swung at Sergei and hit his face, but Sergei barely reacted. Ryker swung again, his bare fists flying, and finally, he nailed Sergei in a way that made the big man take note. Blood trickled down from Sergei’s nose, and his eyes crossed as he looked at Ryker with a confused expression.
Ryker took his chance to swing again, this time an uppercut to get Sergei in the chin. Sergei’s eyes rolled back as his head snapped to the side, and he staggered on his feet.
Ryker pummeled him, pounding him with one direct hit after the other, but it was so hard with just one fist. In a regular fight, he could have moved around and landed kicks or punches to the back of Sergei’s head, but being chained and taped together seriously impeded everything.
It looked like Sergei was going to fall, though, and Ryker kept going. He was relentless, and he was beautiful in his brutality.
I hadn’t seen him fight that hard since the first night in Oakville. I suddenly remembered why I loved him in the first place, because of his pure, raw animalism. He could fight like a brute and fuck like a beast, but in that solid, muscled body beat the heart of a lover who had changed my life forever.
I twitched and instinctively moved to jump to my feet because I truly thought Ryker was going to win that easily, but Maksim took a fistful of my hair and cruelly pulled me back. I fell against his legs, and he pinned me there again, this time tighter than before.
Reg scoffed and shook his head. “You never could just fucking listen, could you?”
“Fuck you,” I hissed. “I wish I’d hit the target the first time. I wish you were dead.”