“I knew her since we were kids,” I tell Gabriela on an exhale. “We weren’t the closest of friends, but it was understood since we were all young that she’d marry one of the brothers of that rich fuckin’ family—back then, the eldest. I was best friends with the younger, and she and her father spent plenty of time on the estate, so we all got to know each other pretty well. She didn’t have much interest in getting very close with her intended’s brother’s best friend—can’t really blame her there—but I had a bit of a crush on her back then.”
“And then?” Gabriela prompts as the words trail off, and I stifle a groan.
“The elder brother fucked off after a family disagreement. Disappeared without a trace, and she ended up a free woman for a bit. She’d always been a bit bratty growing up, but college changed her. That princess demeanor turned into something stubborn, outspoken…strong-willed. I found it attractive, so help me.” I shrug, draining my glass of wine. “She challenged me. Made me want to be better, so she’d see me differently, too. But then her father arranged a marriage with the younger brother of the one who fucked off, and that was pretty much that.” I pour more wine into my glass and Gabriela’s, not quite meeting her eyes.
“And you started an affair then?”
“No.” I shake my head. “The younger brother met someone else and married her against the family’s wishes. Left Saoirse high and dry, and she ended up back with the elder brother. It’s a long story—but she and her father found him, made a plan to bring him home, and make him claim his inheritance. I followed them over there on account of my friendship with the younger—and god fucking help me, I still wanted her. I thought maybe I could convince her not to marry him. When that didn’t pan out, and she did, I was stupid enough and out of my head enough to think about taking what else she offered—desire, and maybe love eventually, but not a true partnership.” I take another deep draught of my wine, feeling Gabriela’s eyes on me. “I thought I was alright being the one on the side, but it turns out I wasn’t. Shit didn’t work out after that, as you can guess. She was always gonna be his, first. Now she’s pregnant with his baby, and—”
“You needed a vacation away from it all.”
The sympathy in Gabriela’s tone startles me. “Yeah, that’s about it,” I agree. “Some space, to get over it all.”
I wonder if she’s going to ask what role she played in me ‘getting over it all,’ if there’s going to be jealousy, but to my surprise, she doesn’t. “What made you realize you weren’t happy with it?” she asks softly instead, reaching out to touch my hand. “That you wanted more?”
“There was a fire.” I tilt the glass back, repressing a shudder as I remember that day, the smoke and heat, the fear that we’d all felt. “I and some colleagues got trapped. I’ve been in some dangerous spots in my life, but that one—I think that’s the first time I ever really, truly thought I was going to die. I thought that was it. And when I thought of what I wanted to say, who I wanted to say it to before I quite literally went up in smoke—telling Saoirse I loved her was the first and only thing on that list.”
“Oh.” Gabriela’s voice is soft as she whispers the word. “And she didn’t feel it back?”
“Not then. Maybe eventually—but her husband was trapped in that fire, too. Her father. When she came to the scene, she went straight to them. She couldn’t come to see if I was alright because we weren’t meant to have anything to do with each other. And that just really scored home for me what priority I’d have in her life if I stayed, always. How I’d keep on loving her, wanting parts of her I couldn’t have, while she straddled the line between us.”
I can hear the bitterness in my voice, the regret, and I hate that Gabriela hears it too. But she’d asked for the story, and I’d given it as succinctly as I could manage.
“If I thought I was going to die in a fire, it’d be my sister I’d want to call,” Gabriela says quietly. “I’ve never known what it was like to have a romantic love like—like the one you’re talking about. But my sister and I—well, if there’s something closer than sisters or best friends, that’s us. She’s the other half of me. It’s why I stay so close to my family even though they’re—difficult sometimes.” She lets out a breath, taking a gulp of her wine. “I could never leave her behind.”
There’s a moment’s silence, thick and heavy, as we sit on the blanket, Gabriela’s shoulder brushing mine. The cloud that slid over the moon shifts again, letting the light brighten up the night, and I turn to see the outline of her perfect face.
“I didn’t bring you out here to talk about all this sad shit,” I tell her gruffly, my thumb brushing over the back of her hand.
“What did you bring me out here for?” Her voice lightens instantly, teasing, and it feels like a breath of fresh air, clearing away all the cobwebs of memory from my mind.
“This,” I tell her honestly, reaching for her face with my free hand. I press my palm against her cheek, turning her lips towards mine, and brush my mouth over hers softly. She tastes like wine, her tongue sweet with it, and I run the tip of mine over her lower lip. She gasps as I do so, the sound going straight to my cock and hardening it instantly.
“Niall—” She breathes my name, leaning into the kiss, her hand on my thigh to brace herself. The moment is perfect, just the two of us out here in the expanse of the desert, no one to see or interrupt, the moon full above us and the silence of the night making me feel as if the world ended tonight, and we’re the only two left.
“But not just for that,” I murmur, pulling back as her tongue flicks out against my lips, before the kiss can deepen and I can lose sight of where I’d planned for this night to go. “I wanted to give you this.”
I slip the box out of my jacket and see her eyes go wide with shock.
“Niall, I—”
“It’s nothing fancy,” I warn her quickly. “Just something I saw and thought of you. I’m sorry if that’s too much. I just saw it, and I—”
She hesitates for a second as I hold the box out, and for a moment, I think she’s going to refuse. The thought feels like a stabbing sensation in my chest, hurting more than it should, but I don’t have long to mull over it. Gabriela takes the box out of my hand, graceful fingers brushing against my hand, and I feel a jolt of desire beyond what I should feel.
There’s another second of hesitation as she goes to open the box, and then she lifts the lid, her mouth dropping open as she does.
“Oh my god, Niall—it’s beautiful!”
“Not as beautiful as you,” I tell her honestly. “It’s not much, but—”
“Not much?” She shakes her head, reaching to take the necklace out of the box. “It’s absolutely lovely.”
I catch sight of her fingers trembling as she goes to clasp it around her neck. “Here, let me.” I reach for the catch, deftly hooking it as my fingers brush against the nape of Gabriela’s neck, and I hear the soft sigh she lets out.
“I can’t believe you bought me this.” Her hand touches the gem that rests just above her breasts, stroking it with the tip of a finger. “It’s so thoughtful—”
“I wanted you to have something to remember this.” I reach out, brushing her hair away from her face as she turns towards me. “To remember the time spent together, even after I’m gone.”