I lean in and kiss his lips. He pulls me closer, grasping the nape of my neck, unable to let me go, it seems. We’re both sobbing as we cling to one another, as we hang on to the threads of our life together and our painfully short marriage, and then I pull his arms from my neck and stand, walking away before he can change my mind. This is the best thing for all of us. I know that in my heart, I just wish it didn’t fucking hurt so much.
PART TWO
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Lo
Two years later
Ibounce Axl on my knee as he squirms and points to the café table where his sippy cup sits. I hand him the cup. He waves it around as he claps and entertains himself by repeating, “juice” over and over again.
“Yep, juice,” I confirm. “I think we may have had a little too much already today.”
“No. No,” he tells me with a stern pout and a shake of his long, sweet curls. He’s so much like his father sometimes, he takes my breath away.
“Okay then. Can we finish our sandwiches because we really have to get to our doctor’s appointment?”
“No dotar.”
“No doctor? But what about your check-up?”
“All gone!” Axl announces, raising his hands in a beats-the-crap-out-me gesture.
I laugh and decide I’d better start packing up our things in case we have a next-level meltdown on our hands. A man enters the café. He’s gorgeous. Tall, handsome, with brown hair, neatly trimmed scruff, and he wears an expensive suit in the middle of Venice.
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” Axl squeals and runs for him.
“Axl, no,” I shout, but toddlers are always quicker than you give them credit for, and he’s climbing all over Suit Guy in a split second. “Axl, that’s not ...”—all the breath is stolen from my lungs when my eyes meet sparkling baby blues, and Suit Guy flashes a wide grin— “Daddy.”
“No. Not Daddy, but I could get used to the term.”
It’s my turn to smile now, and I don’t just stand there grinning up at him like an idiot, I take it one step further and giggle the way I did when I first met Gabe. “I ... I’m so sorry.”
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Not Daddy.” Axl whacks Suit Guy’s leg repeatedly with his sippy cup.
“Cute kid.”
“Oh, er ... he’s not mine. I’m just watching him for a friend.”
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?
Oh my god. I am totally going to hell. Am I so sex starved that I’m lying to a complete stranger about the maternity of my child? There is a special place in hell for women like me.
“Come on, Axl.” I lean over and pick him up, resting him on my hip. “Let’s get you back to Daddy.”
“Mommy,” he proclaims, patting my shoulder.
I give Suit Guy a tight smile and turn around. “I have to go.”
“I didn’t catch your name,” Suit Guy says.
“Mommy,” Axl says again.
“It’s Lo.”
“Lo? Great. And I also didn’t catch your number, Lo.” His perfect pearly whites practically blind me, and I have to resist the urge to squint.
“I ... I didn’t give it.”