She shakes her head and takes the baby from me, sitting down in the recliner. She unclasps her bra and directs Axl’s head to her breast. Her whole body stiffens as he latches on, and she winces in pain.
I am a fucking asshole.
I’ve missed so much of this whole experience. And I’ve left her with so much to do and to go through on her own, that it’s unforgivable. I drop to my knees before her and smooth my hands over her thigh.
“What can I do?”
She just shakes her head and closes her eyes.
“Freckles, will you write me a list? I can go get a pump. I’ll take over night-time feeding so you can sleep.”
She nods and strokes Axl’s tiny baby hairs. “He looks just like you.”
I smile and glance at our kid. “You think?”
She smiles for the first time since I walked through the door. “Yeah. Pretty sure he’s going to break mine and every other woman’s heart on the damn planet too. Just like his dad.”
“I never wanted to break your heart, Lo. I never meant to let you down.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.” I take her free hand and bring it to my lips. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Me too.”
Several hours later, I peer into the bassinette as Lo’s foot gently rocks the base. “I still can’t believe we made that.”
“Me either.” Lo’s lying on the lounge, freshly showered, wet hair curling against the leather as she gives me a sleepy smile.
“I don’t wanna leave you guys.”
“I know, but we’re almost out of diapers, and I don’t think Clem will be happy if I send her on one more errand.”
“Right. Well, I have my list, but call me if you need anything else.”
“I will,” she says with a resolute nod, but her eyes are already closed.
I chuckle and lean over, kissing her forehead. I’m careful to close the door quietly when I leave, and I slide behind the wheel of my Charger. I turn the key in the ignition, and she purrs to life, her growling rumble echoing off the buildings in the quiet street.
Earlier, I’d texted Tommy to let him know I was back in town but that I’m not really up for seeing the rest of the crew, so Iswing by the shop and wait in the back alley to pick him up. I missed being at the shop, I’ve missed the boys, and my hands have been itching to ink again. But I’m not ready to see everyone just yet.
Tommy climbs in the front seat and pulls me into a bro-hug. “You look good, man.”
I nod. “I feel good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Some asshole pulls into the alley behind us and honks. I give him a wave when ordinarily, I would have flipped him the bird, then I peel away from the curb and head toward the nearest Target in Santa Monica.
“Well, it’s good to have you back. When do you think you’ll be coming back to work?”
“I don’t know. I was kind of hoping to have a little more time with my wife and kid before being thrown back into the viper’s den.”
“Ah, well. You know it hasn’t been the same without you. Van Tease keeps popping in to see if you’re back yet.”
“She’s persistent. I’ll give her that.”
“Persistent? Try needy as fuck. She wants you bad, man.”