“Hey, asshole, you just woke my ...” Her words peter off as she yanks open the door and meets my gaze. An audible “oh” leaves her mouth as if I just stole all the breath from her lungs.
Axl continues his furious little cries and I glance at him cradled in Lo’s arms.
She’s thinner than before, there are bags under her eyes, and her hair is no longer blue, but stripped back to a warm honey brown, darker at the roots, with golden highlights. She’s more fucking beautiful than ever.
“You changed your hair,” I say stupidly, as if that’s the most important thing that could come out of my mouth right now.
She nods, and then her brows pinch together in confusion. “What are you doing here? I thought we were coming to get you tomorrow?”
“I got a ride. Wanted to surprise you.” I hand her the flowers and realize she’s already got her hands full. “Can I hold him?”
Her face crumples and I pull them gently toward me and wrap my arms around my family, my rock. “Hey, don’t cry.”
“I just ... I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I sent you away. I made you miss these last few weeks—”
“Lo.” I pull away a little and gently rub her arms. “You did the right thing. You saved my goddamn life. I couldn’t ... I didn’t know I needed help until I saw you bleeding out on our living room floor.”
She sobs. Axl’s tiny face screws up, and he wails, his little chest working hard as his lungs expand and retract with his cries.
“I don’t know how to do this. He doesn’t sleep. I don’t sleep. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
“It’s okay, I’m home now.” I kiss the top of her head. “It’ll get better, I promise.”
She nods and hands the baby to me as she steps back and hurries to the kitchen. I close the front door with my foot and stare down at my kid, whose crying has eased. His big eyes stare back at me, and that little mouth turns down in a frown.
“Hey, little dude.” I rock him gently as I cradle his head in one hand and his tiny body in the other. Tears leak from the corners of his eyes, and I use a thumb to collect them. “You got so damn big, kid.”
His little sobs catch in his throat, and I lean down and kiss him. Tiny fists grab my beard and pull. I wince, and Axl gurgles his delight. Lo steps out of the kitchen and I meet her eyes.
“How did you get him to stop crying?”
“I don’t know. I think he likes the beard,” I say, glancing back at my son who’s gurgling takes on a more conversational tone. “You’re pretty desperate to talk to Daddy, huh?”
Lo inhales sharply and I glance at her. Fresh tears spring from her eyes.
“Lo ...” I take several steps toward her. “Don’t cry.”
“It’s just ... I’ve been trying to get him to settle all day, for weeks. And you walk in and he’s making sounds I’ve never heard before and he’s talking to you, and of course he loves youbecause who doesn’t? You have that effect on everyone. I mean, I fell in love with you the second we met.”
“Hey, I’m just a new face to take in, that’s all.”
Her throat bobs. “You’re good with him.”
“I had a lot of time to read in rehab. That’s actuallyallI did in rehab, read, and talk about my feelings, and worry about the two of you.”
Her features crumple and she sniffs. “I didn’t even ask how you were.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay. All I want is for you two to be happy. I’m going to take care of you, Lo. Both of you. And I’m not gonna do anything to hurt either of you again.”
A cry leaves my son’s mouth and I raise my brows and stare at my wife. The beautiful woman I put through hell for the last ten months.
“He needs to be fed.”
“Can I do it?”
“Not unless you have breasts.”
“We don’t have a pump?”