Chapter Seven
Ana
He’s right.
Everything is just so damn dirty right now.
Suddenly I feel dirty. And other things I don’t quite understand.
I don’t like it.
“I need down off this counter. I need to get dressed. And why is this bathroom so small? It’s the master.”
He catches my waist and sets me on the ground, but he doesn’t let me go, he doesn’t step away. His powerful legs frame my legs, the roughness of his jeans pressed to my bare skin. I’m suddenly aware of my state of nakedness. His state of being fully dressed.
“What just happened?” his hands settling warmly on my hips.
“We have to get back to work. You just said that. And you’re not even undressed. I feel—I don’t like how I feel right this second.”
“Baby, it just happened.”
“I get that. I do. I have no idea why it bothers me right now, but it does.” Only I do, I decide silently. I’m reacting to a sense of unease that’s rapidly becoming a crushing sensation, like I’m being buried alive in all that dirtiness he spoke of.
And our breakup is part of that dirtiness. It doesn’t matter that it was a product of everyone else’s dirtiness. It became ours. And I learned how to deal with everyone I loved being gone. Now two of the most recently lost, are back.
It’s confusing.
I’m not sure if I should be celebrating or protecting myself.
What if they leave again? What if Luke leaves again?
He stares down at me with his dreamy, blue, angelic eyes. The kind of stunning eyes one would imagine the Archangel Michael possesses, eyes that could seduce you, only to cast you to hell forever more.
“I was impatient, Ana,” he assures me. “You do that to me. Being without you for so long does that to me.”
Really, truly, those eyes and that deep, baritone voice of his, is pure seduction and there’s no saving me from whatever he cast upon me. There’s really no reason to hide that from him. It’s not like I’m going to fight it, but I still need a little space to deal with that realization. “I just need to be dressed right now,” I say. “It’s a control thing. I know you know me well enough to know that.”
“And then you’ll talk about what’s really wrong?”
“Maybe.”
I don’t know how it’s possible, but his blue eyes darken to a deeper blue. He studies me for several intense seconds, the muscle in his jaw flexing, resistance in his energy, but he gives a forced nod, backing up to allow me space. Once committed to obeying my request for space, he goes one step further. He doesn’t leave, but he sets the toilet seat down before he sits, facing the wall, rather than watching me struggle with my clothes. That’s the thing about Luke. He’s a dominant personality, but he’s also confident enough to not force his dominance down anyone’s throat. I need space, a little, not a lot, and he seems to understand.
And he didn’t leave.
Almost as if he sensed that his leaving was where my head was at right then. I’m afraid of getting hurt again. And no one but Luke could hurt me to the point of devastation. And while not exactly the same dynamic, I can say, not even Kurt.
Once I’m fully clothed again, he pushes to his feet and almost as if he’s been sitting there waiting for this moment, he catches me to him again, backs me against the door and cups my face. He does that a lot. I like it a lot. Maybe too much if we don’t end up together.
“I want to say so many things right now, Ana,” he murmurs, his voice rough like sandpaper. “But we have a lifetime for me to say them. The minute we have the chance, we’re making this official. I'm going to whisk you away and put that ring on your finger anywhere, anyway, you want to do it."
Everything inside me softens, the tension I’d felt moments before fading away. My hand settles on his chest. “I won’t kid you and tell you I’m not afraid this ends with us apart, but it’s not what I want. When this is over—”
“Soon,” he promises.
“I hope so. I mean why is Kurt back now? Why not when Kasey died?”
Luke releases me and scrubs his jaw, pressing his hands to his waist. “Okay let’s think about this. He made me promise to take care of you.” When I would object, he holds up a hand, “Hear me out, baby. Those are not the words of a man who wrote you off, but as I think back to that day, it is a man who knew something was coming long before it came.”