Pavel nods. “Here and there.”
“Can I keep at least one thing from him?”
“No, keeping anything that ties you to his death will destroy you.”
I frown. “But can’t you protect me?”
“Thisisprotecting you.”
“But I want—”
Bitter resentment glows in his eyes. “That’s enough, Liya.”
I hang my head, my muscles too weak for this. I don’t want to argue. I just want something to keep so I can remember my brother. Monster or not, he was my family.
Myonlyfamily.
And now he’s gone.
The can slides from my grip. I gasp as it leaves my fingers, falling in slow motion toward the ground. Pavel snatches it from the air reflexively and holds it back out to me. When I reach for it, he catches my waist to steady me. I guess the can wasn’t the only thing heading for the ground.
Lightheaded, I blurt, “His phone. What if I kept his phone?”
“Why would you want his phone?”
I wiggle away from him. The ease with which he releases me stings, but I don’t focus on it.
I grip the can as if it’s a lifesaver on an angry sea. “To see who calls him.”
“Like Cardona?”
“Or Kiril. Or any other defectors.”
He hums. “It would help to see his text messages, too.”
“Whatever conversations he had with those two will be on there. Voice mails, even missed calls would be valuable.”
His voice mail will have his voice, I think while clutching the can. The aluminum crackles under my fingers.I’ll still be able to hear him.And if I can hear him, then I can fool myself into believing he’s still alive and whole. Instead of…
“All right,” Pavel agrees. “I’ll get his phone. Stay here.”
A second passes when I realize I’m alone. Willow isn’t near the throne anymore. Viktoria is gone too. Karina probably left the moment the shit hit the fan. She’s always been the first to get the hell out of Dodge when Pavel is angry. She’s smart.
But it’s not the move that would grant power.
Sticking around, watching the chaos unfold, and doing my best to control the mayhem is what keeps the crown on my shoulder. I’m mourning my brother as much as I’m formulating a new plan in my head. Thinking helps. For the most part.
Jonas is gone now. Kiril can’t use him. But that doesn’t mean Kiril doesn’t have an ace up his sleeve.
I need to be prepared for the worst.
My hand smooths over my stomach. There isn’t much more than a peanut in there right now. Not even big enough to see on an ultrasound machine. Medical school doesn’t even feel like an option anymore.
I can’t give up.
Pavel reappears, holding up a cell phone. Wordlessly, I take it, the device in my hand. It feels heavy compared to the empty can of ginger ale. A spark flares in my gut. They’re no true indication of my emotions. I can hardly tell what I’m feeling anymore.
“I should…” Pavel trails off, looking lost for a second. His eyes roam to the spot where Jonas hit the ground like a puppet. “I’m going to check on Kostya.”