And Karina.
“You’re anxious. I get it,” she says while playing with a lace veil. “My brother can be…” She pinches the lace between her fingers and sighs. “Well,difficultis the polite term.”
“Difficult,” I repeat, laughter punching the sound right out of my mouth. “That’s very polite, yes.”
Fondness glows in her eyes along with the twinkle of a memory. It’s so weird to see someone react like this to the guy who bartered with my brother for my life like we’re living in some dystopian hellscape.
How can someone ever care about that asshole?
“Believe it or not, Pavel feels as apprehensive about this as you,” she admits. She plucks one of the dresses from the rack and holds it up. “Satin would look lovely with your skin tone.”
I’m trying not to cackle and screech andsobat the same time. What’s the world record for most emotions bottled up all at once? If it doesn’t exist, I can make it exist.
Oh God. I think I might lose it in here.
Though Karina is bubbly and welcoming, I’m suffocating under the pressure of marriage.
Capital M forMarriage. ForMatrimony. ForMost likely to faint at the altar.
My stomach flops like a trapeze artist is using it to perform a complicated routine. The more I try to pretend I’m okay, the less okay I feel.
Great, now the room is spinning.
“Hey, you don’t look so good,” Karina points out. She shoves the veils aside like they cost nothing. Wow, if I had that kind of disregard for things, then maybe I could survive something like this. “Sit down. There you go. Just take some deep breaths.”
My chest feels like it’s going to explode. I take her hand and crush it in my fingers, clinging to her as I did with Willow on the phone just the other day.
Willow—I need my best friend.
There’s just so much to take in. I look up at Karina’s calm demeanor and breathe a little easier. At least Viktoria didn’t come with me. That bog witch would probably drag the ugliest dress off the rack and toss it at the tailor.That should get the job done, I can practically hear her say.
I sigh. “You seem so close to him.”
“We’ve been close for a long time. We know each other inside and out.”
“I wish I was close like that with my brother.”
She smiles gently. “Older?”
“Yep. Older than me.”
“Pavel is older than me, too.”
I return her smile without hesitation. “Really?”
“Several years older. Made him bossy, but he always protects me.”
“Mine too.”
She rubs my shoulders and massages my upper arms while continuing, “I know a lot of things about Pavel that I can tell you. What do you want to know that will help?”
“Anything.” I bite my lower lip as I deflate. “Everything.”
“I can tell you right off the bat that he’s not as cold as you think.”
My expression couldn’t possibly be any more disbelieving. “You’re kidding.”
“He has feelings, but he just doesn’t show them.”