Though I can’t imagine he’s particularly worried right now. He didn’t look concerned when he told me about the arrangement. He didn’t look concerned when he offered to allow Pavel to inspect me.
He didn’t look concerned when Pavel ordered his men to strip me.
My frown deepens. I don’t want to think about the next part. Not right now.
“Liya? You there?” Willow’s voice returns like a lifeline in a storm.
I struggle to grab it in the sea of anxiety that threatens to swallow me up. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“This is all your brother’s fault,” she says. “If he wasn’t obsessed with this shit, then you wouldn’t have gotten sucked into it.”
“That’s not fair to say.”
She scoffs. “Oh, it isn’t? Are you sayingyouwanted this to happen?”
“No, I just mean—”
“Then it sounds like this is the ideal situation for your brother. He gets everything he wants atyourexpense.” She pauses as disgust settles into her voice. “Just like always.”
She’s right.
And it hurts.
But I can’t bring myself to say it out loud. What kind of sister throws away all those years of protection?
Jonas carried me when I couldn’t walk, I think while chewing worriedly on my lower lip.He did everything in his power to make sure I had what I needed. He’s doing the same thing now. It looks weird to other people because they don’t understand.
Willow sighs. “You’re out of your mind if you think he’s got anything good planned for you in the future.”
“But thisisfor my future.”
“How?!”
Her voice goes shrill. I’ve never heard this kind of panic come from her. Willow has always been the picture of calm, a confident woman who has everything figured out.
Me? I’m a sad, frail lump of insecurity and inexperience. I just lost my virginity the other night. Along with my entire life.
Defeat pushes a sigh from my lips. “You don’t understand.”
“No, I understand perfectly, Liya. Your brother is the reason you’re in this mess—and he’s the reason you’ve been isolated.”
“I’m not isolated. I have—”
She groans. “You can’t be serious! You’re locked up in afortresswith a jailer who doesn’t mind slicing somebody’s cheek forowing him money.A bastard whofucked youwhile your brotherwatched!This is some sick shit, Liya!”
“That’s just how it is in this world, Willow.”
“You wouldn’t be in that world if you had let your brother fail on his own like he was supposed to three years ago.”
Rage burns my gut. “So, I was just supposed to let him get killed? That’s it?”
“Your brother is the reason you’re stuck in life. You’ve always put him before yourself.” She sighs. “You’ve puteveryonebefore yourself, Liya. You’re not selfish enough.”
“You want me to be like you, is that it?”
“I want you to be likeyourselffor once!”
My tongue swells in my mouth. What am I supposed to say to that? It sounds like my best friend doesn’t even believe in me.