“I can do it,” Massacre said. “My place is furnished. I met Mandi when I was there with Ghost. Cool chick. Knows the rules.”
“Thank you.
“As for all the other shit, unless it comes knocking on the fucking front door, I don’t care. It can wait until we get our feet back under us. A lot of shit has happened, and we all need time to recover. So, if you have family, go be with them. For those who don’t, we're going to have a cookout after we say our own goodbyes to the brothers we’ve lost.” With that, Reaper slammed his gavel down on the Golden Skulls wooden table ending the meeting.
Getting to my feet, I headed back upstairs, happy to see my wife and daughter, just as I left them. After thanking Gadget for watching them, I went and took a quick shower, then climbed into bed behind them.
I’d never been thankful for my life, but looking at my wife and daughter, I knew what it meant to be blessed. They were my everything. My life wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t complaining, but with all the evil I’ve seen, it was an absolute miracle to know that when I came home, they would be waiting for me. I thought when I saw my daughter, I knew what real love was, but I was wrong. It was more. I loved my daughter, would do anything for her. She was my world, but my wife was my heart. Without her, I didn’t exist. I couldn’t. When I thought I lost her, I felt nothing, for no one, and though I still felt horrible for how I treated my daughter during that time, how could I love her when I didn’t have my heart?
Seeing Ari sleeping, I couldn’t wait for her to wake up. There were so many things I needed to say, wanted to tell her. For the first time in my life, I wanted someone to know the real me, who I indeed was, how I became the man I was today.
I honestly had a fucked-up life. It wasn’t pretty by any means. I still hadn’t told her how I knew about the cult she was raised in. I needed to as soon as possible. I knew she wouldn’t care, but I did. I didn’t want to hide anything from her.
I felt as if something had opened wide within me. The need to talk and express my thought and feelings were paramount. I just hoped I wasn’t turning into some pussy. I knew some men had no problems talking about shit, but for me, I was used to keeping everything bottled up.
I now know why I didn’t mourn Mia.
In my own way, I did.
She was a nice woman, smart, and could handle anything. But I never loved her. Not like I loved Ari. Mia was the mother of my daughter, and she would have been excellent at it, but Mia lacked one component, the ability to look past the failures and see hope.
That was Ari. Everything she saw, she saw hope. Ari was full of love, grace, gentleness, kindness. She was pure love. I wanted that for my daughter because Becca needed that more than ever now. I needed it too. I needed to know that no matter what I did in the future, that there was someone who would understand and love me no matter what.
“Balthazar?”
Turning, I grinned, seeing my beautiful wife looking at me.
“Hi baby.”
“I killed him, didn’t I?”
Carefully, I replied softly. “Yes Ari. You did.”
“Am I going to hell?”
Moving closer to her, trying not to squish Becca who was between us, I gingerly caressed her face. “No, baby,” I whispered. “Never.”
“He tried to rape me.”
“I know baby.”
“Is Rebekah okay?”
“Look beside you, sweetheart.”
I said nothing as Ari looked between us as a tear fell down her cheek. Moving closer, Ari hugged my daughter closer to her, kissing the top of her head. “I’m tired.”
“Go back to sleep baby. Roxy said you were going to have a bad headache in the morning.”
I said nothing more as Ari closed her eyes and went back to sleep. Seeing her wrapped around my daughter, I smiled. Even in sleep, Ari was protecting her. Closing my own eyes, I wrapped my arm around them both, giving them all the protection I could.
Thirty-Five
Ghost
It had been a week since Ari killed my brother, and though I was happy she was alive and doing well, I was worried because she seemed to be having a hard time accepting what she did. I had tried talking to her many times, but she didn’t want to talk about it. I got it. I really did. Taking a life wasn’t easy, but for someone like Ari, it was especially hard for her.
She was too soft for this world.