I slammed my gavel down on the table, ending the meeting. As I left church, I could hear kids laughing and playing in the common room. I wish I could say that hearing their joy made me feel something, but it didn’t. They were oblivious to what was happening around them, too happy to be in the moment, enjoying life and those around them. I wanted that for them, always, and I was determined to make sure it happened.
Walking into the kitchen, I stopped to watch my mother and Patti argue over which ingredients to put into the boiling pot on the stove. I had no idea what they were cooking, but it smelled delicious. Not that I was hungry. I hadn’t felt anything since Remi was taken. Only rage. That I felt in abundance. I needed that feeling. Fueled it every chance I got. I needed it to burn brightly because the time would come when I unleashed my fury on the fucker who took my girl, and not even the Devil himself would be able to stop me from exacting my revenge as the souls of hell coward in fear of my coming.
“Max?” my mother whispered, standing before me. “Breathe, honey. It’s going to be okay. You will find her. I know you will.”
I nodded and turned away from her. She was only trying to help, but I didn’t want any. Heading upstairs, I walked into my room I shared with Remi, shut the door, and just stood there, looking at our bed.
It wasn’t made from the last time we slept. I knew if I were to go lay down and wrap my arms around her pillow, I would smell her. Hell, she was everywhere in this room. In the short months she was with me, she invaded everything that was mine, to where I couldn’t differentiate between what was hers and what was mine.
Sitting on the bed, I looked around the room and wondered what she was doing right now. Was she crying? Was she hurting? Was she alive? So many questions and not enough answers. From the moment I was rescued, I lived in a state of rage. A rage so fierce, it refused to allow anyone close to me, and I was okay with that. At least I thought I was. I managed my demons, my fears by excluding those who meant the world to me by pushing them away. Then, one day my reminder, my conscience walked back into my life, and she understood what others didn’t. She accepted who I was and helped me heal. Now that she was gone, I couldn’t breathe. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. That the air was being vacuumed out all around me. Remi was my rock, my conscience, my reason for doing better. Without her, I knew I would just be the shell of a man I was before.
For a moment, I lived in the light, basking in the sun of her purity. She was warmth, love, compassion all in one. Everything I was not. My anger knew no bounds, and I feared that my own demons were going to be unleashed soon and God help anyone around me when they did.
EIGHTEEN
GHOST
Two weeks later,
“Are you seriously thinking about not telling Reaper?” Chaos asked as several of the brothers sat around the table. I didn’t want to go behind my best friend’s back, but with his state of mind now, I worried he would be more detrimental to this operation. The fact of the matter was since Remi was taken, Reaper had become a soulless entity that was unreachable. He barely spoke, and when he did, he shouted, yelled, and a few times became violent.
“How is Player doing, Chaos?” I asked smartly, already knowing the answer.
Chaos said nothing as he looked down at his hands. We all knew that Player was still in the infirmary with a concussion and a broken arm because Reaper lost it when Player hadn’t found anything on where Remi might be.
“Look Chaos,” I sighed. “Reaper is still the President. I agree, technically I should let him know, but I will not in good conscience put any of my brothers in harm’s way because of one loose cannon. And Reaper is just that. Until there is any word on Remi’s whereabouts, I am ordering all of you to steer clear of the man. He isn’t thinking correctly. He stays drunk all the time, he barely leaves his room, fuck man, he hasn’t showered in days. The man isn’t in his right mind. He is solely focused on finding Remi, and any deviation from that will seriously piss him off. Phantom and Viper know that their main focus is Remi. That she needs to be found fast, and they are working on it, but until that happens, all day-to-day operations will now be going through me. Understood?”
The room nodded, even Chaos though I knew he did so reluctantly.
“As for what is going down today, Massacre will walk us through it.”
“Okay bitches, get comfy because this is going to be a long, arduous meeting.” Massacre grinned, getting to his feet as he spoke.
The room groaned, as I rolled my eyes. God help us all. Massacre was the biggest kid in the room. Why I thought he would be great at leading this op was beyond me, but the man was good in a fight, that was for sure.
Ten minutes later, Massacre sat down and said nothing.
“That’s it?”
“That’s what you came up with?”
“Are you shitting me?”
“I think that might actually work,” I offered unwillingly, but the plan did have its perks like we do absolutely nothing, and we wouldn’t have the Feds or the local police gunning for us. Nope, technically doing nothing worked.
“What!” several brothers shouted in unison.
“Look, this is Mia we're talking about, our Tyrant,” Massacre spoke up. “We all know what she is capable of. Hell, we all trained her. The best-laid plans are generally the simplest. Honestly, I’m more afraid of her than this Pavlov dude. Seriously think about it. Tyrant has been held captive, against her will, without all her girly things that make her feel good. Do you seriously think this guy doesn’t have a scratch on him?”
“Nope.”
“I’d be surprised if the man is breathing.”
“Exactly. Tyrant isn’t just going to sit like a scared little girl, and I swear that if any of you tell her I called her that, I will kick your asses! But no, she is going to fight like hell and take names later.”
“So, you are suggesting we just roll up to this hotel, walk in as if nothing is wrong and knock on the fucking door?”
“Yeah.”